My Workplace is Gaslighting Me, and I Need Help

Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation that involves instilling doubt in a specific individual or group...

Coping Skills
March 21, 2025

Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation that involves instilling doubt in a specific individual or group, causing them to question their own memory, perception, or mental stability. In the workplace, this can create a toxic environment that hinders productivity and well-being. The objective of this article is to provide clarity on gaslighting in a professional setting, providing strategies to recognize and effectively deal with this behavior. We will explore methods for setting boundaries, seeking support, and understanding when professional help may be necessary. The goal is to empower individuals to stand against gaslighting, promoting a healthier and more respectful work environment.

Signs That You're Being Gaslighted at Work

Gaslighting in the workplace can be subtle and difficult to recognize, especially if you are the target. Here are some common signs that you might be experiencing gaslighting at work.

Consistent Discrediting or Undermining: If your ideas, work, or contributions are constantly disparaged, belittled, or ignored, it could be a sign of gaslighting. The aim here is often to make you doubt your competence and worth.

Scenario: For instance, you propose an idea during a team meeting that is dismissed or ridiculed. Later, you notice your manager presenting a very similar idea to their own.

Twisting or Distorting Facts: Gaslighters often manipulate truths, creating a narrative that suits them. They may deny previous agreements or conversations, leaving you feeling confused and unsure of your memory.

Scenario: Your boss gave you specific instructions for a task, but when you deliver it as instructed, they deny ever giving those instructions and blame you for the mistake.

Isolation from Colleagues: A gaslighter may try to isolate you from your team or other colleagues, making it harder for you to seek support or validate your experiences.

Scenario: Your co-worker consistently excludes you from group emails and meetings, causing you to miss out on important information and feel alienated.

Constant Criticism: While constructive feedback is a key part of professional growth, constant, unwarranted criticism that seems designed to undermine your confidence is a red flag.

Scenario: A colleague constantly points out minor mistakes in your work, even when they have no bearing on the overall quality or results, leaving you feeling inadequate and anxious.

Withholding Information: If the information necessary for you to perform your job is purposely withheld, it could be a sign of gaslighting. The intention here is often to set you up for failure.

Scenario: Your supervisor fails to inform you about changes in a project deadline, leading to you missing it and facing repercussions.

If you recognize any of these signs in your workplace, it's important to take steps to address the situation. Remember, everyone has the right to a respectful and supportive work environment.

Effects of Gaslighting on Mental and Physical Health

Gaslighting can have severe consequences on both mental and physical health. On the mental health front, consistent gaslighting can lead to anxiety, depression, and an overwhelming sense of self-doubt. Victims may start to question their own judgment, memory, or reality, leading to a state of constant uncertainty and stress. This constant state of psychological turmoil can manifest physically as well. Prolonged exposure to stress hormones like cortisol can increase the risk of numerous health problems, including headaches, digestive issues, insomnia, and heart disease. In extreme cases, the chronic stress from enduring gaslighting can even lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Hence, it is clear that the effects of gaslighting extend beyond psychological harm, posing serious threats to overall well-being.

How to Deal with Gaslighting in the Workplace

Dealing with gaslighting in the workplace can be challenging but is essential for maintaining a healthy work environment. Here are some strategies that can help:

Recognize the Signs: The first step in addressing gaslighting is recognizing it. Be aware of the signs mentioned earlier and trust your instinct if something feels off.

Get Grounded in Your Truth: Don't let a gaslighter distort your reality. Hold on to your truth and reaffirm your version of events.

Keep Documentation: Record instances of gaslighting as they occur. This could be saving emails, noting down conversations, or keeping a diary. This documentation can serve as proof if you need to escalate the situation.

Set Boundaries: It's important to assert yourself and set boundaries with the person gaslighting you. Be clear and concise in explaining the situation, focusing on the facts.

Seek Support: Confide in trusted colleagues, friends, or family about what you're experiencing. Their perspective can help validate your experiences and provide emotional support.

Address the Issue Directly: If you feel safe to do so, have an honest conversation with the person gaslighting you. Explain how their behavior is impacting you and the workplace.

Involve HR or Management: If the gaslighting continues, consider reporting it to human resources or a manager. Provide them with your documentation as evidence.

Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with your company's policies on harassment and bullying. In some cases, legal recourse may be necessary.

Consider Leaving the Job: In extreme situations, leaving the job might be the best solution. Your well-being is paramount, and no job is worth enduring ongoing emotional abuse.

Seeking Professional Help

When dealing with gaslighting in the workplace, it's important to involve Human Resources (HR) as they can play a significant role in addressing the issue. HR can provide guidance on company policies, facilitate conversations with the involved parties, and take necessary action based on the provided evidence. However, if gaslighting has had a substantial impact on your mental health, you may need to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapists or counselors can provide strategies to cope with the stress and anxiety caused by gaslighting, helping you regain confidence and self-esteem. For extreme cases where the workplace fails to address the issue or if the gaslighting escalates to harassment or bullying, legal recourse might be necessary. Employment laws often protect employees from such harmful behaviors, and consulting with a lawyer can help you understand your rights and possible courses of action.

Conclusion

In conclusion, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that can have serious implications on both mental and physical health. It's crucial to recognize the signs of gaslighting and take steps to address it, such as setting boundaries, seeking support, and documenting instances. Involving HR and considering legal recourse are also valid options in extreme cases. If you're dealing with gaslighting, remember that you're not alone and help is available, both within your workplace and from mental health professionals. It's important for everyone to stand against gaslighting and promote a healthier work environment. By doing so, we can create workplaces that foster respect, understanding, and positive interactions, ultimately contributing to the overall well-being of all employees.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

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