If you have ever had obligations, such as school or work, right after losing a loved one, or if that's where you are right now...
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If you have ever had obligations, such as school or work, right after losing a loved one, or if that's where you are right now, this article is for you.
It may feel nearly impossible to continue on with day-to-day life or may feel like you are floating in a dream-like state, but by following our tips, you will begin to feel like yourself again and tackle those tasks head first.
After a loved one passes on, it's important to face the hard truth that they are gone and they won't be returning. If you lie to yourself and attempt to live in a false world, the denial of the situation will only lead to much longer-lasting negative effects. It's imperative not to suppress your emotions, let them come as they may. Even if they happen while in school or at work, most people have lost someone near to them, so they will understand. Simply ask to be excused and handle the situation somewhere private, whether in the bathroom or in your car. Identify that you are in a state of grief and loss while continuing to work or school, and let yourself feel okay with your situation. By experiencing these emotions you are handling them responsibly.
When we bottle things up, as humans, we only delay the inevitable. Running from your feelings, denying your emotions, and lying to yourself about your current mental health will have dramatic repercussions. It's crucial to find an outlet for your emotions. Some common outlets for emotions are journaling, talking to a loved one, creative outlets, and meditation. If you choose to journal, just sit down with your emotions and let them flow through you. Good memories, the truth of how you feel now, fears and general thoughts are all ways to channel your emotions on paper. If you want to talk to someone, choose a friend, loved one, or someone you can trust. As for creative outlets, some people choose painting classes, drawing, and creating videos or music to channel their pain when dealing with loss. Another option is to meditate. When you meditate, the goal is to clear your mind, remove all thoughts or emotions, and simply exist in the current moment.
While it's a very difficult situation to balance work, life, school, and relationships while dealing with grief and loss, it's something that must be done. If you feel like laying in bed and forgetting the world, it's important to realize that many people feel this way when faced with difficult situations. It's important to continue on, even with these difficult emotions surging inside of you. By continuing to go to school or work, while dealing with grief and loss, you will slowly work your way back into the flow of your life before losing your loved one. One of the first things to do when you integrate back into life is to prioritize your tasks. Decide what are the most urgent things you need to do, these can be the ones with the smallest window of time to be accomplished or the ones that carry the most importance. Write down a to-do list of what needs to be accomplished and try to check off the first few each day.
Sometimes the most important things can even be just showing up. In school and in work life, attendance is usually a crucial aspect, so simply by showing up, you have already begun to win the battle that rages in your life. If you have projects due at either school or work and they seem like giants that need to be faced, you can delegate what needs to be done into smaller and more manageable tasks. A 5000-word essay can be broken down into five separate 1000-word sections. A sales report that needs to be turned in at work can be spread out over a few days. It's important to never be too hard on yourself when you are in this phase. Consider every accomplishment a win and reward yourself accordingly.
Reach out to professionals or other people that are in similar situations as you. There are grief counselors available. You can attend groups that are all dealing with grief and loss, to interact with people in similar situations. There are many different online communities, that are there for support. This will allow you to find shoulders to help you support the burden and not feel alone. Remember, that by seeking help, you are showing a sign of strength and you should never view this as a weakness. It takes a mentally strong person to admit they can't do something alone and this is something to be respected.
You are never alone when you are facing grief and loss. You have people rooting for you and wanting to help you, even if you don't feel or see them. Between co-workers, friends, family, and mental health professionals, you are never alone. If you start with just showing up to school or work, while dealing with grief and loss, you have taken the first step toward your future. Continue to live and acknowledge your loss. Balance your responsibilities. Try to mark at least one thing off of your to-do list every day and delegate the tasks of larger projects. And at the end of the day, remember there are always people out there who are willing to help you. Seek professional help if you feel it could benefit you and realize that this proves how strong you truly are. Thanks for reading and if you would like to chat with any of our counselors, please don't hesitate to reach out.
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
https://www.mskcc.org/news/coping-grief-7-things-remember-when-dealing-loss
https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2017/10/coping-grief
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
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There are a few things you can do to help ease your pain during the holiday season. First, try to avoid triggers that may cause you to feel sad or upset. Triggers can be anything from certain songs or smells, to seeing certain people or places. If you know there will be triggers at holiday gatherings, try to arrive late or leave early if possible. You can also try to create new traditions that don't involve the triggers.
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If you find yourself having difficulty managing daily activities due to lingering feelings associated with grief such as sadness, anger, guilt or numbness; then it might be beneficial for you to seek professional help through our Colorado Springs Grief Counseling services. Our therapists are trained in helping clients identify their needs and goals related to grieving.
