How Do Narcissists React When You Call Them Out

Introduction When you confront a narcissist, their response can vary widely based on the individual and the circumstances at hand. Understanding how...

Introduction

When you confront a narcissist, their response can vary widely based on the individual and the circumstances at hand. Understanding how narcissists typically react when called out is essential in navigating interactions with them. Let's explore the common behaviors and tactics narcissists often employ when faced with criticism or accountability for their actions.

1). Defensive Behavior

When you call out a narcissist, their immediate reaction often centers around defending themselves due to their fragile egos. This defensive behavior is a common response rooted in the narcissist's need to protect their self-image and avoid acknowledging any perceived flaws or wrongdoings. Instead of taking responsibility, they may deflect blame onto others, deny the accusations, or distort reality to maintain their sense of superiority and control in the situation.

2). Gaslighting

When confronted, narcissists commonly resort to gaslighting as a manipulative tactic to undermine your reality and assert control over the situation. Gaslighting involves distorting facts, denying the truth, and questioning your perceptions to make you doubt your own memory and judgment. By sowing seeds of doubt and confusion, narcissists aim to shift the blame away from themselves and onto you, fostering a sense of power and superiority in the interaction.


3). Anger or Aggression

Aggressive reactions can manifest through verbal attacks, threats, or intimidating behavior aimed at silencing critics and maintaining their sense of superiority. By lashing out in anger, narcissists attempt to intimidate and manipulate others into submission, using aggression as a tool to deflect accountability and shift the focus away from their own shortcomings. Moreover, displaying aggression when confronted allows narcissists to exert power and influence over those challenging them, reinforcing their perceived superiority and authority. The use of anger as a defense mechanism serves to intimidate and coerce others into compliance, creating an environment where the narcissist's ego is preserved, and dissenting voices are suppressed.

4). Silent Treatment

The silent treatment can be a potent tool in the narcissist's arsenal, creating a sense of tension and uncertainty in the dynamic between the accuser and the narcissist. This tactic is used to convey disapproval, exert control, and elicit a desired response from the accuser without having to directly address the issue at hand. By employing silent treatment, narcissists aim to manipulate the emotional state of the accuser, assert their authority, and avoid taking responsibility for their actions, ultimately perpetuating a cycle of power imbalance and emotional turmoil in the relationship.

5). Dismissive Attitude


Dismissive behavior often manifests as an air of indifference, arrogance, or aloofness, where the narcissist belittles the concerns raised by the accuser and trivializes the significance of the issues being brought to light. Dismissive attitude allows narcissists to distance themselves emotionally from the confrontation, avoiding feelings of vulnerability or insecurity that may arise when their actions are questioned. By adopting a dismissive attitude, narcissists seek to undermine the credibility of the accuser, deflect attention from their behavior, and maintain a facade of superiority and infallibility.

6). Apology (Insincere)

Narcissists, faced with criticism, may offer apologies that often come across as insincere and lacking genuine remorse. These insincere apologies are characterized by a lack of accountability and a focus on shifting blame or downplaying the impact of their actions. Instead of taking full responsibility for their behavior, narcissists may use apologies as a tool to manipulate the situation, appease the accuser temporarily, and maintain a facade of caring without truly addressing the underlying issues.


7). Escalation of Behavior

Escalation of behavior can take various forms, such as heightened aggression, manipulation, or gaslighting tactics aimed at destabilizing the accuser and shifting focus away from the narcissist's actions. By escalating their behavior, narcissists aim to intimidate, manipulate, and instill fear in those challenging them, creating an environment where dissent is silenced, and the narcissist's superiority is reaffirmed. This heightened response is often a defense mechanism triggered by feelings of insecurity and vulnerability when their behavior is called into question.

Communicating With a Narcissist

When communicating with a narcissist, consider the following strategies to effectively manage interactions:

  • Set Boundaries - Establish clear boundaries and assertively communicate your needs to maintain a healthy dynamic.
  • Stay Calm - Remain composed and avoid engaging in emotional outbursts or power struggles that may escalate tensions.
  • Be Assertive - Express yourself confidently and directly, focusing on facts rather than emotions, to convey your message effectively.
  • Avoid Jargon - Use simple language and straightforward communication to ensure clarity and minimize opportunities for manipulation.
  • Practice Active Listening - Demonstrate a genuine interest in their perspective while ensuring they understand your point of view as well.
  • Offer Constructive Feedback - Provide feedback in a constructive manner, highlighting behaviors rather than attacking the individual.
  • Seek Support - Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor to navigate challenging interactions with a narcissist.


Conclusion

When faced with dismissive behavior that takes a toll on your emotional health, seeking support from mental health professionals can be crucial for navigating such challenging dynamics effectively. Overcomers Counseling offers a safe and supportive environment for individuals struggling with difficult interpersonal relationships or emotional distress. Their team of experienced counselors provides personalized therapy sessions tailored to each client's unique needs, helping them overcome obstacles and cultivate resilience. By promoting Overcomers Counseling services, individuals experiencing dismissive behavior can access the professional help they need to address underlying issues, develop coping strategies, and foster emotional healing in a compassionate therapeutic setting.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Narcissistic Personality

I feel guilty when a narcissist ignores me. What should I do?

When a narcissist ignores you, it's common to feel guilty. However, remember that this is a common tactic used by narcissists to make you question your worth. Try not to internalize this guilt. Instead, create boundaries and seek support from trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional.

What does narcissistic supply refer to and why does it matter if a narcissist ignores you?

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention and admiration that narcissists crave. If a narcissist is ignoring you, it could mean they're not getting their desired narcissistic supply from you, so they resort to emotional abuse like completely ignoring to manipulate you into giving them more attention.

Can I maintain a healthy romantic relationship with a narcissistic woman?

Narcissists often engage in manipulative behaviors to maintain control and may show little consideration for their partner's feelings. If you're in a romantic relationship with a narcissistic woman, consider seeking professional advice. A mental health professional can provide guidance on how to navigate such a relationship and help determine whether it's possible to establish a healthier dynamic.

What are the effects?

It can have a devastating effect on the victim. It can cause them to doubt themselves, their worthiness, and their sanity. They may feel like they are never good enough and that they will never be loved. This can lead to a spiraling of negative emotions such as shame, guilt, and self-loathing. The victim may also develop anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

What is a cheating narcissist?

A cheating narcissist is an individual who possesses narcissistic traits and engages in infidelity. They often display an inflated sense of self-importance, poor impulse control, and use manipulation tactics to maintain relationships while pursuing other romantic or sexual interests.

What are the common traits of a narcissistic woman?

Narcissistic women often exhibit traits such as extreme confidence, dramatic emotional behavior, and a grandiose sense of self-importance. They are overly concerned with their physical appearance and social status and may have a fragile ego that requires constant validation (narcissistic supply). They can also be very self-centered and lack empathy for others.