5 Types of Cheating in Marriage

Being cheated on can make you begin to seek the reasons they cheated and what could have prevented the occurrence, leading you to a position where you...

Marriage
March 21, 2025

Being cheated on can make you begin to seek the reasons they cheated and what could have prevented the occurrence, leading you to a position where you desire to understand the types of cheating in marriage to correctly categorize what happened in your case.

It could be commemorative cheating that your partner committed, one where they have no commitment, sexual desire, love, or attachment towards you; hence they sought the feelings in an external affair.Likewise, it could be romantic cheating they did, where they have a feeling of commitment towards a long-term relationship with you but feel no emotional attachment and intimacy towards you, thus seeking it outside the marriage to satisfy their emotional longing.

Similarly, they could have committed opportunistic cheating in which they still love you but had a brief opportunity caused by alcoholic influence or a rare circumstance to cheat on you with someone else, and they took the chance with regret afterward.And it could have also been the dreaded conflicted romantic cheating type where they have intense romantic feelings for you and the other person and act on their feelings for the other person without self-control.

You may appreciate a more detailed discourse on these types of cheating in marriage:

Commemorative Cheating

This type of cheating in marriage is constituted by a lack of feelings towards the other partner, and such marriage is usually sustained by the obligatory vows made to each other, the presence of kids, the fear of people's thoughts if the marriage ends, or the lack of mental strength to divorce.If this is the type of cheating your partner has engaged in, you may realize that they don't have feelings for you anymore, either because of something you did or something going on with them.

As saddening as the situation may be, you can still get your marriage back on track if you desire by having a long emotional conversation with them about how you love them, how you wish to discover the reason for their indifference, and how to make things better.However, if you don't desire to be with them anymore, it's understandable to want to end things with a cheating partner who betrayed you, and you should do due diligence before undertaking the divorce process.

Romantic Cheating

Romantic cheating in marriage comprises a partner with a long-term mindset towards their partner but has endured a lack of emotional connection in the union and has gone outside the marriage arrangement to satisfy their emotional needs. If this type of cheating occurs in your marriage, you may require some bit of introspection before you can fully understand the situation; because there's an indication that your partner loves you but hasn't been able to get their emotional needs fulfilled in the relationship, a situation which may be your fault.

If you think that they shouldn't have cheated on you, no matter the emotional issues in the relationship, then you can go ahead to end things as it's acceptable to separate over a case of infidelity and move on without guilt. Nevertheless, if you have a contrary opinion that you can still make things work by re-introducing emotional intimacy to your marriage, you can talk to them about their emotional expectations from you and the preferred ways of fulfilling such expectations with compromises if you can't fully satisfy them.

Opportunistic Cheating

This type of cheating in marriage occurs when a partner loves the other but momentarily slips into a cheating situation because certain circumstances stack up to provide an easy opportunity for them to cheat on their partner.

Such opportunity may come with an ex-partner when they have been keeping a friendly relationship with the ex, and when an opportunity presents itself, they take it, knowing it's easy to rekindle sexual intimacy with an ex-partner.

Your partner may also take such an opportunity with a neighbor since there's easy access to such a person close to the house, and the affair can hide in plain sight without the partner's suspicion. Since you understand your partner did this because there was an open window of opportunity, you may decide to set boundaries on their interactions with others and move on with the marriage; but if you prefer to leave them due to their infidelity, it's a choice you'll not be crucified for.

Wedding rings -- the symbol of a union

Conflicted Romantic Cheating

People experience this type of cheating in marriage when they have strong feelings for their partners and possess a deep, passionate desire for other persons, which they act upon without considering their spouse's feelings. If this is the cheating your spouse has done, it's understandable that you'll be in a lot of emotional turmoil because you likely never imagined them having romantic feelings for any other person, and it's advisable to take some time to yourself to mull over the situation and come to terms with it.

After mulling over it, if you decide to stay in the marriage and win your partner's heart back, you will have to sit them down and have a lengthy conversation with them, reminding them of their marital vows, your dating years, the things you share in common, the things that endear you to each other, the prosperous times you have shared, and the hard times you have gone through.

Reminding them of all these can help trigger an overwhelming amount of positive emotions in them and make them realize you are worth more than their new love interest, and if you would instead leave the marriage, that's fair and acceptable.

Obligatory Cheating

A spouse may engage in this type of cheating in marriage due to a feeling of obligation to do so, especially in a work-related situation where they believe they have to sleep with their boss to keep their job or satisfy a customer to get their consistent patronage. When your partner engages in such type of cheating, you may be mad at them for deciding to undergo such sexual behavior, hurting your feelings, and jeopardizing the marriage you have built together over time.

As difficult as it may be to forgive them, if you care about the marriage subsisting after their infidelity, you will have to forgive them, understanding that they did it out of a misplaced sense of obligation and wouldn't have cheated without fear of career truncation.

In the process of forgiving and getting back together, ensure to have the boss prosecuted for exploiting a fiduciary relationship and forcing your partner to have a sexual affair with them.

Conclusion

Life after a case of infidelity in your marriage can be very frustrating because you will keep on analyzing what they did and its reasons. Understanding the various types of cheating in marriage can help you come to terms with their reasons for cheating, and these types are commemorative, romantic, opportunistic, conflicted romantic, and obligatory cheating.

Resources

https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/affairs-and-divorce/6-forms-of-infidelity-in-marriage.aspx

https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/who-will-your-spouse-will-cheat-on-you-with/amp/

https://www.brides.com/different-types-of-infidelity

https://www.howcast.com/.amp/videos/513116-what-is-conflicted-romantic-infidelity-jealousy-affairs

https://www.howcast.com/.amp/videos/513114-what-is-obligatory-infidelity-jealousy-affairs

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

What are some common mistakes to avoid in striving for interdependence?


Common mistakes include neglecting personal growth, failing to communicate openly, not respecting boundaries, and overlooking the importance of individual interests.

Why is it important to address relationship issues?

Addressing relationship issues is crucial because unresolved problems can significantly impact your emotional well-being, overall satisfaction, and the longevity of your partnership. Left unaddressed, these issues can lead to increased conflict, emotional disconnection, and even the end of the relationship.

Where can I find more information about Tricare coverage for marriage counseling?

For more detailed information, you can visit the official Tricare website or contact a Tricare representative. You can also seek our resources at the defense health agency.

Can therapy help me overcome abandonment issues?

Yes, therapy can be an effective tool for addressing abandonment issues. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your struggles, develop coping strategies, and work through any past traumas. Different types of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), or psychodynamic therapy, may be helpful depending on individual needs.

What are some common marriage problems?

Some common marriage problems include communication difficulties, financial stress, and infidelity.

Is everything we discuss in therapy confidential?

Yes, therapists are bound by confidentiality rules, and anything you discuss in therapy is kept private, with a few exceptions related to safety and legal issues.