One of the most common habits associated with being an adult is work. Almost everyone has to work at some point to earn a living and sustain themselves...
One of the most common habits associated with being an adult is work. Almost everyone has to work at some point to earn a living and sustain themselves. However, even work should be done reasonably, especially ahead of your marriage. If you have a partner that puts work before your marriage, you might be married to a workaholic.
Let your partner know how their focus on work makes you feel. Avoid accusations; instead, use "I" statements like "I feel lonely when we don’t spend time together."
Ask your partner why they prioritize work. Determine whether it’s out of necessity (financial goals) or passion (career fulfillment). Knowing their reason can help you empathize and find common ground.
Establish non-negotiable times for bonding—date nights, weekend getaways, or shared hobbies. Ensure work distractions like phones and emails are put away during this time.
Show appreciation for their hard work and efforts to provide for the family. Avoid making them feel guilty but emphasize the importance of balance.
Work together to set boundaries regarding work hours and commitments. Make adjustments where necessary, ensuring both of you are satisfied.
If communication and compromises fail, consider couples counseling. A professional can help identify deeper issues and mediate solutions.
When your partner puts work before marriage, many things may go over their head. It is possible that your partner is not even aware that they had been putting work over their marriage. A place to begin might be to communicate to your partner that you feel they put work above them. Avoid hiding your feelings and be as honest as possible.
This discussion between you and your partner should be approached with love and care. Express your feelings whilst leaving room for them to communicate too. It is essential to keep your anger under check here and avoid nagging about your partner's habit. Rather than using an accusatory tone, use a positive manner to express what your spouse has missed from overworking.
The manner you communicate with your spouse will go a long way in how much they receive the message. Telling your partner will enable your partner to understand your feelings. It might just be what they need to get back on track.
It is easy and perhaps natural to assume the worst. To assume that maybe your partner puts work before your marriage to avoid you. However, before jumping to conclusions, try to understand when your partner puts work before marriage. The easiest way to find out why your partner puts so much effort into work is to ask them simply.
The answer could allow you to understand what drives your partner so much. Your partner might be working so hard to impress you. Their answer may also allow you to find out the work has nothing to do with you. Maybe your partner enjoys their job so much or works out of necessity to pay the bills.
At the very least, you understand the root of the problem. Unfortunately, sometimes it is necessary for a spouse to work long hours, especially to ensure the family is well taken care of. You can remind yourself that your partner is sacrificing for you if that helps deal with the workaholic partner.
Sometimes when your partner puts work before marriage, you have to understand and support your partner. This is particular in circumstances where there is a necessity to work long hours. Here, you could adopt a different strategy of focusing on your time together. Instead of being unhappy about things you cannot change, consider enjoying your time with your partner.
Couples don't need to spend all their time together. They just have to make the time they have count. Whenever you have time with your partner, try to make it count. You could catch up on what was missed. Your partner could even become more eager to create time to spend together when it's positive.
The focus here is to make do with the circumstances you have. This time together may help ease the tension that might be building between you and your partner. Your partner may also value your time together more.
If your partner puts work before marriage, it might be necessary for you to set fixed boundaries that they should comply with. The fixed routine would be a decent compromise. A fixed routine ensures that you and your partner spend time together. The fixed routine could entail having breakfast together every day or going out on Saturdays.
You might also have your partner leave their work phone off at a specific time of the day. The essence of this fixed routine is to schedule time in the mind of your partner that is a non-negotiable couple time. The routine, together with boundaries, could enable your partner to separate work hours and home. Sometimes, work can be so overwhelming that it almost goes on for 24 hours every day.
Routines reset the mind of your partner. It might be alluring to bend and plan around your spouse's work schedule, but this might simply be encouraging a bad habit. Marriage requires commitment; don't be afraid to demand commitment from your partner.
Getting ahead of your partner's work habits may prove difficult even after trying multiple things. There may be a point where you have to seek professional help to address your spouse's excessive work. When your partner puts work before marriage, sometimes it is helpful to get an external party to mediate. It could only be at this point that your partner even admits to putting work ahead of your marriage.
A marriage counselor or psychologist could be of help in this situation. A professional may also help where you have become overcome with bitter feelings. This may mean both you and your partner may not be communicating effectively. If you have observed talking about work leads to bigger conflicts or fighting, it might be time to go to a professional.
It is also possible that your spouse is using work as an excuse to escape something else. The problem could go beyond the work itself. A professional is well vested in handling complex issues such as this.
Work is a vital part of our everyday life. However, it could quickly take over your marriage. In a situation where your partner comes to value work over the marriage between both of you. You can choose to tell them how you feel, understand why they put work first, enjoy the time you have together, establish a fixed routine, and seek professional help.
https://www.verywellmind.com/tips-for-spouses-of-workaholics-2304053https://www.marriage.com/advice/family/how-to-deal-with-a-workaholic-husband/https://www.huffpost.com/entry/workaholic-partner-relationship-tips_l_5c6b03a7e4b0e8eb46b89898/amphttps://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/15-things-remember-you-love-workaholic.htmlhttps://www.canadianliving.com/life-and-relationships/relationships/article/how-to-cope-when-your-partner-is-a-workaholic
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
Overthinking can have a negative impact on your relationship, leading to feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and low self-esteem. By working to overcome overthinking in your relationship, you will be able to reduce stress and cultivate trust and security with your partner. This can help strengthen the bond between you and create a more positive and meaningful connection.
While it is ideal for both partners to actively engage in couples counseling, therapy can still be helpful if only one partner is willing to attend. In such cases, the participating partner can learn valuable skills and strategies to improve communication, manage conflicts, and create a more positive relationship dynamic, which may eventually encourage the other partner to join the process.
Here are some ideas:
Some thoughtful things you can do for your spouse are:
Many things can damage trust in a relationship. Some common examples include lying, cheating, and hiding information from your partner.
Addressing relationship issues is crucial because unresolved problems can significantly impact your emotional well-being, overall satisfaction, and the longevity of your partnership. Left unaddressed, these issues can lead to increased conflict, emotional disconnection, and even the end of the relationship.
The time it takes to overcome overthinking will vary depending on each individual's situation. Some people may see improvement after just a few sessions with a therapist, while others may need more time to work through underlying issues that contribute to their overthinking patterns. The important thing is to be patient with yourself and stay committed to taking steps toward overcoming overthinking in your relationship.
