The key to success in parenting is not being a vigilant mother or a doting father, it is being united parents. Whether it is counseling your young one or nurturing them up, it is to be teamwork with a united front.
No matter what the situation you're facing as parents, the most important thing is to support your spouse when confronting your child. Even when you think your spouse is not dealing correctly with the matter at hand; resist the temptation to fix them straight in front of your kid.
Parenting experts believe that children feel more secure and confident when they see their parents supporting and uplifting each other all the time. The best way to come to mutual agreements is to discuss parenting issues within your bedroom, but once you're tackling your kids as a team, maintain a united front.
The formula for unity parenting and counseling is very simple actually but it needs complete commitment to it. For bringing harmony to your parenting, all you need is unlimited love for each other, free and open communication and mutual agreement on common interests in raising your children.
With that said, let's take a look at some of the tips for maintaining unity in your parenting and counseling techniques.
Most important is to build faith in one another. For this, you first need to acknowledge that no couple is perfect and when it comes to parenting, everyone is bound to be wrong is certain situations.
Hence, even if there comes a time when you're dealing with an unruly child and your partner is not showing a correct insight into the situation, still have faith in them.
Let them know that you trust they can handle it and do not disrupt how they're parenting at that moment. If your teen comes home drunk on a night and your partner wants to deliver a harsh punishment, such as grounding the teen, taking away his/her car keys but you disagree with the punishment, do not stop your partner.
Whatever you wish to change or deliver about their ultimatum, it is better to discuss later in your own room and away from your teen's ears. No matter what, never let your child know of the differences in you and your spouse's opinions.
You can have a detailed discussion when your first child is due or whenever you think is appropriate. The important thing for both parents is to discuss what each remembers of their own upbringing, what values and techniques they wish to deliver to their kids and what they don't want to repeat as parents now.
Often, without realizing couples tend to parent their kids in the same way they were brought up and it fails to align with the modern standards of life. Often, couples even unconsciously move away to the opposite extreme mentality and this too does not have a positive impact on the child.
Hence, it is always a great idea to discuss with your spouse who you are, where you come from and how similar or better you want your parenting to be. It is also important to remember on this note that even if you both belong to a similar cultural and religious background, you're both still from different families.
As such, you may be a product of very rigid or narrow-minded upbringing and you may not wish to pass that on to your children. Recognizing each other's strength and weaknesses and working on those is key to unity parenting.
When it comes to counseling, agree how you want to teach your children. Both you and your spouse must work on creative consequences, establish them and work together to maintain them. Discuss what boundaries you want to set for your children, how much freedom and leverage you want to give but what things will be absolutely intolerable as parents for both of you.
Then sit down and explain that to your children. Keep practicing and implementing your values at every point in their upbringing. If despite all this, your child still breaks rules, steps out of his/her boundaries, then both parents must not hesitate from taking a mutual stance.
As humans, no matter how hard you try to maintain a united front before your children, you will slip a time or two.
So if your children come upon when you and your spouse are disagreeing or having an argument, then be sure to make amends before them too.
Teach your children about forgiveness and also let them see how you come to mutual agreements sooner or later.
If you lack parental unity, your children will be quick to notice it and never doubt how this will affect them. No matter how young, children are very observant and intuitional and soon they will begin suffering mentally and emotionally if they see you and your partner divided.
When you and your partner's behave becomes unpredictable around the house, your young children become uncertain of the rules and structure of the home. They lack confidence in sharing their problems with you when they see you scattered and bitter all the time. This can exacerbate their anxiety and emotional instability and soon their own behavioral problems will worsen.
Chances also increase of children making it a habit to appeal to the permissive parent out of the two of you, whenever conflicts regarding their behaviors break out. Soon the unpleasant behavior characteristic will become a permanent part of their personality because they will know the laid-back parent from the two of you will always back their wrongs.
To avoid this massive detrimental impact, it is important that you are spouse not only parent and counsel with unity but also be firm in your love, devotion, commitment and loyalty to one another so that the children pick the same values.
Unity parenting and counseling is perhaps the most important aspect, for turning young children into emotionally balanced, courteous and well-mannered and confident adults.
Good parenting is not only about materialistic provisions but about nurturing the confidence, good values and stability in your children through a positive, love-filled, united and dedicated partnership.
https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/parental-unity-raising-teens/
https://theearlyyears.ca/portfolio-item/parenting-in-unity-counseling/
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
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