When we leave our children in the care of others, we of course expect the utmost care given to our children, especially since it is a service that you are paying for. Nannies, for instance, can be a wonderful resource, especially if you have to work outside of the home and have young children that aren't in school yet. But sometimes, our nannies can get on our nerves, just like anybody else in the world. But the difference is, in this case, you have to have strong communication with caregivers, especially since they are taking care of our children.
Even from the beginning of the process of looking for a nanny, all the way up to deciding on "the one," you need to have clear outlines and expectations set for them.
Be clear and distinct upfront of what you are looking for, let them know exactly what is expected of them, and see what their response is.
Remember, you are looking for a nanny who is responsible enough to take all of those responsibilities into check and give you a confident answer about providing high-quality nanny service to you.
Sit Down And Talk
If you already have a nanny that is upsetting you, it is clearly time for a talk.
Schedule a time with your nanny that you and they can just sit down and have an informal meeting with them.
Perhaps make them some tea or coffee, and just talk to them about what has been bothering you with their nanny skills.
If they are doing something that you clearly don't like, make that known to them.
Perhaps they may not have known it before.
However, if they are habitually doing things that you are seeing and you don't like, you have to really enforce the fact that you are paying them for a service that they are providing.
If they are no longer providing the high-quality service that you saw at the beginning of the nanny-parent relationship, let them know.
Ultimately, if you need to let them go, then you have to do what is right for you and your family.
Do A Weekly Check In
One great way to have open communication with your children's caregiver is to have a weekly check-in.
Sit down with them on a designated day during the week and "check-in" with one another.
Perhaps the children may have acted up in that past week, and so your nanny easily relays all of that kind of information to you during these times.
At the same time, if you are seeing poor performance from your nanny that week, you can let them know at your weekly meetings, and things can be sorted out.
If you would rather have a more frequent check-in, you can let them know that you would like that, instead.
Plus, you can make it an informal meeting as well, where you can share how your week was, and they can share how their's was - just making it lighthearted conversation can help ease the stress on both of you.
Together, the both of you can work together and create a nurturing and wonderful environment for your children.
Speak With Them As Soon As Issues Arrive
The moment that you spot something that you do not like, make sure that you alert your nanny to it.
If it is not something that can wait until the weekly meeting with them, give them a text or a phone call to explain to them what is concerning you.
If it is not an emergency, then you can, of course, wait until you get home to speak with them if you wish.
It is always up to you, and it is always your call.
That way, if it is something that cannot wait, you can easily address the situation with them.
Consider a Nanny Log
A great way to learn of your children's daily activities, any classes they attended, when they ate, and more can all be written down inside of a "Nanny Log."
You can get a book and ask your nanny to keep notes on what you think would be important.
If you have a baby, you can ask her to write down things like the feeding times, diaper changes, and more.
With older kids, you can have her log things like if they did their homework, what they ate for dinner, etc.
While they are providing a service to you that you are paying for, nannies are also people just like you and me.
Not to mention that taking care of children is a job that takes a lot of love, caring and compassion in the first place.
Perhaps there was something going on in their life that you didn't know about.
The key is to always treat them like you would want to be treated.
It's simple - it is the golden rule.
It is very important to have certain things like guidelines in place for nannies and caregivers.
Communicating with them effectively is one way to assure that everyone is on the same page, especially with the children.
If you need to speak to them in an urgent manner, ask them upfront if it is okay to do something like text them or call them if you need to talk about your children.
Nannies are a wonderful resource to employ when they are needed.
They are incredible in helping children learn more about the world, help to teach them, play with them, and of course, keep a watchful eye over them while you are at work.
If you are frustrated with them, remember that they are also human, too.
As long as you both keep the lines of communication open, everything should work out.
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
You can teach your child persistence by modeling the behavior yourself, encouraging them to take risks, setting goals and tracking progress, praising effort, and providing support and guidance.
