Learn How to Deal With These Negative Emotions in Your Marriage

In marriage, negative feelings such as neglect, sadness, stress, anger, and fear can arise due to human error or external pressures...

Marriage
March 21, 2025

In marriage, negative feelings such as neglect, sadness, stress, anger, and fear can arise due to human error or external pressures.

It's crucial to address these negative feelings in a relationship to prevent them from leading to emotional distance or an unhealthy pattern. When experiencing feelings of neglect due to a partner's busy schedule, communication is key to resolving these unresolved conflicts.

If sadness overwhelms you, discussing your real feelings with your partner can guide the relationship in a positive direction. Stress from work or home should not be faced alone; sharing these strong emotions and practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing can help.

Acknowledging negative thoughts through self-reflection can improve self-esteem and foster healthier romantic relationships. For persistent issues, seeking professional help can prevent the relationship from becoming emotionally abusive and promote a healthier way forward.

If you need ideas to help address a negative person, negative relationship feelings, or other areas of negative thinking in a healthy way, then the couples therapy intensive at Overcomers Counseling can help.

When You Feel Neglected by Your Partner

Getting neglected by your partner can hurt deeply because your partner is expected to be your companion throughout life. Abandonment of your affairs by your life-long companion can make you start to have depressing thoughts. Thus, learning to deal with negative emotions in your marriage can help you solve the issue of neglect.

To deal with the feeling of neglect in your mind, you should initiate a discussion with your partner about your hurt feelings. In the conversation, avoid playing the victim card as this will seem accusatory, and they will get defensive. To have a meaningful conversation with them, focus on how bad you feel and how to fix it.

Also, ensure you try to trace the cause of their neglect. If the behavior began recently, it might be easy to trace it to a specific event whose details you can use to solve the issue easily. However, if you analyze the beginning properly and discover a trace of neglect has always been in their behavior, it may be more difficult to solve it.

Whatever your plan is for dealing with the emotion, ensure it's not entirely reliant on them. A marriage takes two to tango, and where they can't see your hurt feelings, it's your duty to be proactive and create a constructive method for solving the problem.

When an Occurrence Makes You Sad

Experiencing sadness in a marriage can be particularly difficult, especially if the cause of your sadness stems from something painful done by your spouse, whether intentional or not. External factors, like poor work performance or failing a crucial exam, can also contribute to these emotions.

The best way to begin addressing sadness is by communicating with your partner. Let them know what’s making you sad and how deeply it hurts. Open and honest communication helps your partner understand what’s wrong and gives them an opportunity to support you and alleviate your sadness. If your spouse is the source of your sadness, focus on sharing your feelings rather than blaming them. This approach allows them to understand the impact of their actions and puts them in a position to apologize and seek to restore your happiness.

Once they apologize and express a desire to make things right, it’s important to focus on dispelling negative feelings and instead recall the positive moments from your relationship. Try to rationalize their actions as a slip-up, and consider giving them a chance to repair the situation. Proposing more quality time together could help reestablish positivity in your marriage and create an opportunity for healing.

Woman sitting on the edge of a dock overlooking the water

When You are Under a Lot of Stress

Life stress can indeed have a significant impact on a marriage, as it can create emotional strain and lead to conflicts with your partner. One of the best ways to manage stress within a marriage is through balance. If you’ve been shouldering a disproportionate share of responsibilities at home, it may contribute to your stress. By splitting duties equally with your partner, you can alleviate some of the pressure and create a more supportive environment.

In addition to balancing responsibilities, stress-relieving activities are crucial. Spending time apart to engage in personal hobbies or interests allows you to unwind and recharge. This time away from each other doesn’t diminish your connection but rather helps both of you manage stress individually. However, it's equally important to spend quality time together to strengthen your bond and reduce the stress caused by neglecting the relationship.

When you prioritize your marriage and share meaningful moments with your partner, it can reduce feelings of tension and help rebuild emotional fulfillment. A marriage filled with joy, romance, and shared experiences is a powerful antidote to stress. By nurturing your relationship, you not only reduce stress but also create a healthier, more connected partnership.

When an Incident Has Made You Angry

Anger is a natural emotion in any relationship, and in a marriage, where both partners are intimately involved in each other's lives, it can sometimes flare up more easily. The closeness, coupled with the frequency of interactions, creates ample opportunities for conflict. However, the key to dealing with anger is not to avoid it, as doing so can lead to unaddressed emotions and long-term resentment.

Instead, when anger arises, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about how you're feeling. Let them know what specifically triggered your anger and express it in a calm and non-accusatory manner. This helps your partner understand your perspective and work with you toward resolving the issue.

Rather than reacting impulsively by shouting or retaliating, take a step back and approach the situation with a level head. Try to view the situation from your partner's perspective—this act of empathy can often reveal that the actions which angered you were unintentional or misunderstood.

When you empathize, you're more likely to accept their apology and let go of the anger, allowing the marriage to return to a more harmonious state. Ultimately, the goal is to work through the conflict together, learning and growing as a couple, which strengthens the bond over time.

A woman with tears in her eyes.

When You are Scared of Future Events

Fear can be a powerful emotion that often prevents us from taking positive action in our relationships, especially in marriage. It can make you second-guess your decisions and prevent you from fully engaging with your partner. If you fear that your partner may cheat or leave, it can create distance and insecurity, which might ultimately lead to the very outcome you fear.

To deal with fear in your marriage, it's important to confront it directly rather than letting it control your actions. One way to overcome fear is by focusing on the benefits of doing the right thing. Rather than being paralyzed by the fear of possible negative outcomes, consider the positive results that can come from taking action, such as strengthening your bond and growing together as a couple.

Another key aspect of managing fear is to avoid the negative influence of other people's opinions. Often, fear stems from worries about how others will perceive your actions. By focusing on what truly matters to you and your partner, you can block out the external noise and move forward based on what you value most.

Finally, a powerful motivator in overcoming fear is to tap into your love for your partner. If you believe that taking a certain step or overcoming a fear will positively impact your relationship, let your love for them fuel your actions. This emotional drive can provide the courage and determination you need to face and move past your fears, ultimately leading to a deeper, more fulfilling connection with your spouse.

Conclusion

Having negative emotions in your marriage is normal, but leaving them to dwell is abnormal. You should ensure that you are swift to deal with neglect, sadness, stress, anger, and fear so they don't cause far-reaching emotional troubles in your marriage.

Resources

https://www.brides.com/emotional-neglect-in-marriage-5195578

https://www.symbis.com/blog/6-things-to-do-when-happiness-fades-in-your-marriage/

https://www.shermanconsulting.net/2018/06/22/reduce-stress-marriage/

https://www.healthline.com/health/coronavirus-pandemic-stress-anxiety-relationship

https://www.symbis.com/blog/3-strategies-for-successfully-managing-anger-in-marriage/

https://www.symbis.com/blog/critical-tips-for-overcoming-fear-in-marriage-and-life/

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

How can we tell if couples therapy is working?

Signs that therapy is working can include improved communication, better conflict resolution, and increased relationship satisfaction. However, progress can sometimes be slow and it's important to be patient.

How do you handle conflicts in an interdependent relationship?


Handling conflicts effectively involves:

  • Approaching disagreements with an open mind and willingness to understand the other's perspective.
  • Communicating feelings and concerns honestly but respectfully.
  • Seeking compromises that address the needs of both partners.
  • Maintaining respect and care for each other, even during disagreements.

Can EFT help with long-standing relationship issues?

Yes, EFT is effective in addressing long-standing relationship issues by focusing on the underlying emotional and attachment needs. It helps partners break free from negative cycles and build a more secure and satisfying relationship.

Should we tell our friends and family we're going to counseling?

This is a personal decision that each couple will need to make for themselves. Some couples feel more comfortable sharing this information with their close friends and family, while others prefer to keep it to themselves. Ultimately, the decision is up to you.

Is it normal to fall out of love with your spouse?

It's normal for feelings to change over time. Relationships go through ups and downs, and it's common for feelings of love and passion to fluctuate.

How often do we need to go to counseling?

This is something that you'll need to discuss with your counselor. In some cases, weekly sessions may be appropriate. In other cases, you may only need to meet every other week or once a month.