How to Prioritize Your Spouse in Your Marriage

When you prioritize your marriage, you place your partner above everything else in your relationship. This way, your partner comes first to you...

Marriage
March 21, 2025

When you prioritize your marriage, you place your partner above everything else in your relationship. This way, your partner comes first to you, and you make daily attempts to give them attention, spend time with them, and communicate with them. A marriage thrives when you learn how to prioritize your spouse. Consulting your spouse before making decisions in and out of your marriage shows you highly value their opinion. Marriage signifies oneness, so making joint decisions helps you connect better with your partner and rely on each other for physical and emotional support.

Setting specific and attainable goals with your spouse and achieving them together allows you to prioritize them in your marriage. Shared goals enhance communication, teamwork, and trust in your marriage. Also, you should learn to give your spouse attention in their presence and absence. This means that you constantly keep up with them even when away from home and listen to them attentively when you are together.

Set Specific and Attainable Goals

A beautiful thing about marriage is that you have the ability to share relationship goals with your life partner. It can be an incredibly powerful move as it deepens your connection, lets you order your marriage in the direction you want it to be, and ultimately helps you prioritize your spouse.Setting short time goals with your spouse is healthy for your marriage as it allows both partners to discuss their desires, thus improving their relationship. Short-term goals can include separating family time from work time, weekly romantic date ideas, participating in monthly outdoor activities, or baking together every Sunday.

Also, you can set long-term goals such as financial goals and family health goals.Working together as married couples to save towards a new house, car, or freezer boosts teamwork and connectedness and breeds a successful marriage. Pursuing long-term goals together provides a sense of security, commitment, and trust for both partners in the union.No matter how alike you and your spouse are in values and morals, you won't always agree on the same things.Setting goals will allow you to discuss each other's spending habits, eating habits, household habits, preferences, and individual wants.

Create Time to Bond With Your Spouse

Lack of quality time with your spouse will strain your marriage as effort is required from both sides to make the relationship work. A way to put effort and prioritize your relationship with your spouse is by creating time to bond with them.Staying in the same space together all day with your spouse and having small talks might not necessarily increase your bond. You can bond with your partner by starting a conversation about a fond memory you both share.

It could be about good times you shared, a core memory, or when you first met and fell in love.Also, you can find a hobby you and your spouse enjoy and engage in it together. You get to spend longer time together, grow your friendship, and have fun together by doing this.You also learn more about your spouse and create a stronger emotional connection.Similarly, having daily commitments to your spouse increases your bond.

Daily rituals build trust and allow you to rely on each other for physical and emotional support.It could be as simple as getting them that morning coffee, sharing a kiss before the day's work, or late-night walks together.

Give Your Spouse Attention

Marriage is a long-term commitment of two partners; however, both partners can become preoccupied with work, family, and household duties, thus losing touch with each other.If you want to learn how to prioritize your spouse in your marriage, it is essential to pay attention to them.You should learn to stay curious about your partner at all times. Ask meaningful questions about their day, and how they feel if they need help, and respond thoughtfully. You should become engaged in their day-to-day activities and listen to them when they share their experiences with you.

This shows you care about them, thus allowing them to open up to you more.Similarly, you can surprise your spouse with gifts they like. When you are attentive to them, you are more aware of their wants, needs, and what will bring them comfort. Giving them such gifts shows that you listen to them and take note of their interests.When you prioritize your spouse, their troubles should become of paramount importance to you.You want to attentively listen to their concerns and help in every possible way. You can help by simply listening, asking questions about how you can help, and sympathizing with them.

Pick Your Words Carefully

When you communicate with your spouse, your words matter a lot as you are most likely the closest person to them and their confidant. When you respond, choosing your words shows you prioritize your spouse in your marriage.When your partner communicates their feelings to you, learn to validate what they feel.No matter how childish or repetitive it may seem, listening to them and responding thoughtfully—showing emotional support in whatever you can, goes a long way in your marriage.

Also, it is normal to have a bad day outside your marriage and feel down about it; however, you should try not to transfer aggression to your partner. Instead, communicate how you feel and let them know if you'll need space to get over it. Suddenly being emotionally unavailable to your partner or transferring anger will only hurt your spouse and your marriage.

Furthermore, never forget to remind them how much you love and appreciate them. Showering your spouse with compliments from time to time boosts their confidence and makes them feel noticed. Be their number one fan and cheerleader always.

2 people going for a run on the beach

Consult Your Spouse for Decision Making

Making joint decisions is vital in long-term relationships such as marriages as it helps you prioritize your spouse and their opinion. Involving your partner in your decision-making process builds trust, reliability, and transparency, allowing you to avoid conflicts and disagreements.When deciding how you spend your time, money, and energy, ask your partner about their opinions and thoughts.

Explaining to your partner about your location or expenses allows for accountability in the marriage, thus building trust.Take into consideration how your decision would affect them. When you get married, every choice you make as an individual affects your partner too.Inform your spouse forehand about decisions you want to take and discuss the impact on your marriage.

Also, you have to be willing to compromise with your spouse. To avoid disagreements, discuss your point of view without enforcing it and gently communicate how you can come to a compromise that will satisfy both of you. Avoid going ahead with the decision if your partner disagrees just because you can.

Activity

Benefit

Implementation

Date Nights

Strengthens intimate relationship and spending quality time.

Schedule weekly date night and make it a top priority.

Set Boundaries with Technology

Reduces distractions and keeps focus on the relationship.

Limit phone and screen time during together moments.

Nature Walks

Promotes physical touch and deep conversations.

Plan regular walks in nature to talk and connect.

Express Appreciation

Builds respect and a sense of being valued.

Regularly speak words of appreciation and recognition.

Watch a Movie Together

Provides relaxation and shared experiences.Schedule a movie night at home with favorite films.

Set Time for Deep ConversationsImproves communication and resolves misunderstandings.

Have dedicated time each week to talk about important issues.

Plan a Weekend Getaway

Renews intimacy and provides a break from daily routines.

Arrange for a short trip away to reconnect and relax.

Conclusion

Prioritizing your partner is essential for the continuity of love, trust, and emotional connection in your marriage.If you want to learn ways to prioritize your partner, ensure you pay attention to them, pick your words carefully, set specific and attainable goals with them, consult your spouse for decision-making, and create time to bond with them.

Resources

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/joint-decision-making.html

https://mamafindsherway.com/prioritize-your-marriage/

https://www.marriage.com/advice/marriage-fitness/ways-to-prioritize-your-spouse/

https://balancethroughsimplicity.com/20-ways-to-bond-with-your-partner/

https://www.pinkvilla.com/lifestyle/love-relationships/7-ways-you-can-give-your-spouse-attention-they-need-553910

https://www.wikihow.com/Give-Your-Girl-Attention

https://www.lifehack.org/808733/marriage-goals

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

Can EFT couples therapy be used alongside family therapy?

Yes, EFT couples therapy can complement family therapy by addressing the emotional dynamics within the couple relationship, which can have positive ripple effects on family members and overall family well-being.

Is the information shared in couples counseling kept confidential?

Yes, therapists are bound by ethical guidelines and legal requirements to maintain client confidentiality. This means that the information shared during your couples counseling sessions will not be disclosed to anyone without your written consent, except in cases where there is a risk of harm to yourself or others, or when required by law. It is essential to discuss any concerns about confidentiality with your therapist at the beginning of therapy to ensure a safe and trusting therapeutic environment.

How can I find my love language?

There are many resources available online, including quizzes and assessments, that can help you find your love language. Gary Chapman's book, "The 5 Love Languages," is also a great resource to help you identify and understand your love language.

What are the common outcomes of EFT couples therapy?

Couples who undergo EFT often experience improved emotional connection, reduced conflict, and a stronger secure attachment. The change process promotes healthier interactions and greater satisfaction in the relationship.

How can we tell if couples therapy is working?

Signs that therapy is working can include improved communication, better conflict resolution, and increased relationship satisfaction. However, progress can sometimes be slow and it's important to be patient.

Do we have to go to counseling together?

No, you don't necessarily have to go to counseling together. In some cases, it may be more helpful for each spouse to meet with the counselor individually. This can be a good way to address specific issues that one spouse may be struggling with.