How to Make Your Spouse Feel Special

Keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship can sometimes be a challenge. You may feel like you've tried everything...

Marriage
May 23, 2025

Keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship can sometimes be a challenge. You may feel like you've tried everything, but it's still possible to make your spouse feel special. It's important because feeling loved and appreciated is essential to a happy and healthy relationship.Here are some tips, ideas, and strategies for married couples who have been together for a long time.

1). Make Time for Each Other

In today's busy world, it's easy to let work and other obligations take precedence over your relationship. Spending time together is important because it gives you a chance to reconnect and deepen your bond. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just make sure you're both present and enjoying each other's company. Make sure to schedule time for quality together time. This can be anything from a weekly date night to simply taking a few minutes every day to talk about your day.  

people's hands reaching out to each other

2). Be Spontaneous

Do something unexpected that will brighten your spouse's day. It could be as simple as cooking dinner or sending a heartfelt text message during the day. Other ways to be spontaneous are:

  • Plan a weekend getaway
  • Buy tickets to a show or concert
  • Write a love note and hide it in your spouse's purse or briefcase

Being spontaneous is fun because it keeps things fresh and exciting. It's also a great way to show your spouse how much you care.

3). Connect on a Deeper Level

Take the time to really listen to your spouse when they're talking to you. Show them that you care about what they're saying and that you're interested in their life. Some ways you can connect on a deeper level are:

  • Asking follow-up questions about what they're telling you
  • Sharing your own thoughts and feelings on the subject
  • Listening without interrupting

Connecting on a deeper level with your spouse is great because it shows that you truly care about them and want to understand them better.

4). Express Your Love in Different Ways

Sometimes it's easy to fall into a rut of saying "I love you" without really showing it. Take the time to show your spouse how much they mean to you through actions and words. Some ways you can do that are:

  • Compliment them
  • Tell them why you love them
  • Hug and kiss them often
  • Do something special for them just because

Expressing your love in different ways is important because it shows that you're thinking about your spouse and that you want to make an effort to make them feel loved.

5). Surprise Them with Gifts

It doesn't have to be an expensive gift, but taking the time to find something that you know they'll love will show them how much you care about them. If you can find a gift that matches their personality or hobbies, then that's even better.

Some ideas for gifts are:

  • Tickets to a show or game
  • A gift certificate to their favorite restaurant or store
  • A new book or movie that you know they'll enjoy
  • A basket filled with their favorite things

Giving gifts is a great way to make your spouse feel special because it shows them that you're thinking about them and that you want to make them happy.

6). Plan Special Outings Together

Whether it's a weekend getaway or just tickets to their favorite band's concert, planning something special will give you both something to look forward to and create lasting memories together. Experiences together are always better than material things, so try to focus on that when planning your outing.

Some ideas for special outings are:

  • A weekend at a bed and breakfast
  • Tickets to a play or musical
  • A day trip to a nearby city or town
  • A picnic in the park

Planning special outings is great because it gives you time to focus on each other and have fun together. It's also a nice way to break up the monotony of everyday life.

A woman and man looking at each other while their foreheads and noses are touching

7). Show Physical Affection

One way to make your spouse feel special is to physically show them affection. This can be anything from holding hands to kissing to hugging to cuddling. It's important to physically express your love for your partner. Sometimes a simple touch can say more than words ever could.

8). Don't Take Them for Granted

It's so easy to take our spouses for granted, especially after we've been married for a while. We start to get comfortable and stop doing the little things that we did when we were first dating. It's important to keep the romance alive by regularly doing things that make your spouse feel special. This can be anything from cooking their favorite meal to buying them flowers to taking them on a weekend getaway. Whatever it is, make sure they know that they are still the most important person in your life.

Conclusion

Making your spouse feel special is an important part of keeping your marriage strong and healthy. By taking the time to do thoughtful things for them, you can keep the spark alive in your relationship no matter how long you've been together.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Marriage

How does EFT differ from other forms of relationship therapy?

EFT focuses specifically on the emotional bonds and attachment needs in relationships. Unlike other therapies that might focus on behavioral changes alone, EFT addresses the deeper emotional experiences and underlying attachment issues.

What if I feel like my partner doesn't understand me?

It is important to communicate your feelings openly with your partner and to let them know how you are feeling. It is also important to understand that not everyone thinks or behaves the same way, so it is helpful to be patient and understanding with your partner. If communication does not seem to be improving the situation, then seeking professional help may be beneficial.

How long does marriage counseling take?

Again, this will depend on the specific goals and needs of the couple. Some couples may only need a few sessions, while others may need more.

How can I praise my child's effort without focusing on results?

Focus on your child's effort by praising specific actions they took, such as working hard or showing determination.

Avoid overly praising results or using comparisons to other children.

Is it possible to overcome abandonment issues completely?

While complete recovery from abandonment issues may not be possible for everyone, it is possible to manage symptoms effectively with the help of professional support, self-care practices, and ongoing personal development. With time and effort, it is possible to build healthier relationships and increase overall well-being.

How can mindfulness help me overcome overthinking?

Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and focusing on what's happening right now. When we're caught up in overthinking, our minds are often stuck ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Practicing mindfulness techniques like meditation or deep breathing exercises can help bring us back into the present moment and reduce feelings of anxiety and stress.