How do you go about setting boundaries with others?
How do you go about setting boundaries with others? The first way to do this is to listen to what our physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts tell us. Then, one can use "I feel" statements. Also, be sure to acknowledge others' needs.
Keep reading to see these tips, learn more about types of boundaries, and more!
First, what are boundaries? They are limits we set around our time and energy. We want others to behave toward us in a certain way, and we also want physical and emotional safety. As people, we need to be respected and valued through boundaries. They enhance our relationships not only with ourselves but with others, too. Maybe someone in your life said something that sat unwell. Did you notice that your hands were sweaty after talking to that person, or that your heart rate went up? Also, evaluate your thought content. Are those thoughts positive or negative? If you don't like the thoughts, then setting boundaries with others is in order. You need to take care of yourself, and this is one way to do it! Don't forget it's normal to feel anxious when completing this task; you are not alone! Boundary setting can really make for difficult conversations, particularly with an employer, friends, and family. However, it will cause both parties to take responsibility for their actions.
There are five different types of boundaries: emotional, financial, intellectual, physical and sexual. Emotional refers to someone's feelings. People may prefer to gradually share their feelings overtime with partners or friends, as opposed to sharing everything at once. Then there's setting boundaries with others in the financial sense. That means you may decide against loaning money to a friend who wants it, especially if you're concerned about them paying you back quickly. Intellectual boundaries have to do with beliefs and thoughts. If one's opinions and/or ideas are dismissed, then their intellectual boundaries have been violated. Physical boundaries refer to one's body, privacy and personal space. One person may not want to be touched, while another is okay with hand-holding, hugs and even kisses in public.
It happens: you spoke to someone about your boundaries, and you feel a line has been crossed yet again. You determine it's a mistake. What it is best to do is to be more specific, clear and direct. Break it down if you need to, as you sometimes need to do this with setting boundaries with others. One example is with a friend who texts you to say they're coming over, then shows up. They haven't received an "okay" response from you, but still assume their arrival is appropriate. Make it clear that they need a response from you first before they hop in their car and zoom over. In some cases, though, people will disregard what you ask them because they only care about their own agenda. They do not care about you setting boundaries with others. When this happens, tell the person you were clear with them and that you are disappointed. An example is when someone has told someone something when you asked them not to repeat it. You have already reminded them, yet they've crossed the boundary again. Simply tell the person that, in the future, you won't share certain information with them because of what happened. Whether the person purposefully violated boundaries or not, it's important to stay calm during the conversation for an effective outcome.Now, let's get one super relevant boundary issue out of the way: social media. Many of us are concerned that friends and family will post pictures or information that we want kept private.
This includes social media, text, or otherwise.Making it clear to the other person that one has seen their messages and will get back to them with a more thorough response is a great idea to practice setting boundaries with others.If it comes down to it, put as much distance as you can between you and the person crossing your boundaries.During this article, have you noticed that other people have said things to you relating to this topic?It's okay to ask someone about their boundaries, as it shows you care about them and overall setting boundaries with others.This can have to do with movie choices, when it's a convenient time to contact them, or like mentioned before, social media posts that may involve their pictures.If boundary violation occurs, then people may withdraw.
Ultimately, using these types of statements shows that one takes responsibility for their feelings and setting boundaries with others. Using "I feel" also is respectful towards the other person. Be sure to acknowledge the other party's needs, too, to create mutual understanding between you both. If you are worried about boundaries being crossed any further, then make it clear what will occur if that happens. By doing this, you will communicate that your limits are extremely important.One example of when you can use "I feel" is with family. Setting boundaries with others, particularly family, can be tough. Many of us live with them, making frequent communication inevitable. A common situation is when a parent, sibling, etc tell another family member about a past event or incident that affected you. You may find it triggering, and want them to stop discussing it. You may say "I feel embarrassed when you discuss [insert event/incident here] with other family."
The bottom line is to pay attention to what you, as a person, need. You need to come first in your life, and avoid unfavorable feelings by setting boundaries with others. It's important for one to listen to themselves, as well as others to learn about their own and others' boundaries. One does not want to be left feeling bullied, unappreciated, or devalued through lack of boundary enforcement.
https://www.betterself.com.au/setting-boundaries/
https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries
https://upjourney.com/how-to-deal-with-someone-who-does-not-respect-boundaries
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
If you're looking to improve your emotional health in your relationship, there are a few key things that you can do. First, make sure that you're communicating openly and honestly with your partner. Second, make sure that you're respecting each other's needs and boundaries. Third, be willing to compromise when necessary. And fourth, always show kindness and understanding towards each other.
While it is ideal for both partners to actively engage in couples counseling, therapy can still be helpful if only one partner is willing to attend. In such cases, the participating partner can learn valuable skills and strategies to improve communication, manage conflicts, and create a more positive relationship dynamic, which may eventually encourage the other partner to join the process.
Ignoring relationship issues can exacerbate problems and make them more challenging to manage over time. This can result in a negative impact on your emotional well-being, increased conflict, and potential dissolution of the relationship.
During an EFT session, couples can expect to explore their emotional experiences, attachment needs, and interaction patterns. The therapist will guide them through exercises and conversations aimed at fostering secure emotional bonds and resolving conflicts.
Couples counseling timelines can vary depending on the issues specifically being addressed to you and your partner, and the kind of progress that is being made in counseling or therapy. Our therapists will regularly assess your progress and adjust your treatment plan as needed.
Focus on your child's effort by praising specific actions they took, such as working hard or showing determination.
Avoid overly praising results or using comparisons to other children.
