5 Reasons Narcissists are So Insecure

Are narcissists insecure? Undeniably, their personality displays some very troublesome traits...

Depression
May 23, 2025

Are narcissists insecure?

Undeniably, their personality displays some very troublesome traits.

However, some may wonder if this is just a way for them to protect themselves.

Maybe it's a complete facade that they've fabricated to keep people away from them because they don't want them to see their deepest, darkest insecurities.

With these things in mind, here are a few answers to "Are narcissists insecure?"

Narcissists Feel Anxious About Their Relationships.

They don't know how to approach relationships healthily.

When they feel like they're in too deep, they start to panic and want to run away without thinking about what they're doing.

Unfortunately, this gets them into more trouble.

When narcissists manage to stay in a relationship, the relationship is toxic.

This is a vicious cycle for them - something that'll eventually cause them intense destruction.

You'll never find a relationship with a narcissist that ends well.

Narcissists Always View Other People Negatively.

Another reason you may wonder "Are narcissists insecure" is that they are so judgmental.

They don't even take any time to get to know the person for whom they really are.

Instead, they're very judgmental and carry with them the belief that people have nothing but bad intentions for them.

Much of this stems from what they see on social media.

It leads them to build up walls and close off their hearts.

Therefore, all of their relationships are impure.

Although Narcissists are Perfectionists They're Also Never Satisfied.

With this in mind, you may ask yourself, "Are narcissists insecure?"

After all, they love to hide behind a facade.

They've learned to perfect this facade over many years which is why they aren't willing to accept anyone's shortcomings.

Instead, they demand that everyone meet their requirements and won't accept any excuses or errors.

When these requirements are unmet, all hell breaks loose.

Since these expectations are set so high that nobody could ever possibly meet them, a spiral of rage surrounds the narcissist.

Narcissists Struggle to Deal With Their Own Emotions and Would Rather Conceal Them.

Narcissists believe emotions are risky because they show weakness.

They'll do anything to not be vulnerable in this way.

Typically, this occurs because their tough upbringing prevented them from receiving love, affection, or guidance.

They weren't allowed to express their feelings and instead believe they must appear strong so people respect them.

This is where the question "Are narcissists insecure?" becomes a bit blurry.

Honestly, they're looking to conceal their pain.

To do so they've built a fort around themselves so they won't be hurt, disappointed, or betrayed.

While you may question "Are narcissists insecure?" when you dig deep down through their many layers you find that they want love and acceptance more than anything.

Unfortunately, their pain is so deep-rooted and has gone unaddressed for so long that they're no longer empathetic to other people's suffering.

Therefore, they tend to drive people away instead of having their "real" needs met.

Narcissists Can't Trust Anyone, Not Even Themselves.

It's as though the word "trust" were a foreign word to them.

This is why they seemingly believe that everyone is out to tet them.

Therefore, they become very cunning, so they can outwit others.

With this negative viewpoint, they find themselves unable to find happiness or establish genuine connections.

Conclusion

So, "Are narcissists insecure?"

Well, deep down inside, they feel completely inadequate.

They never feel as though they can measure, which is why they frequently lie and create an inflated sense of self around themselves.

The last thing they want to happen is to be judged or looked down upon.

This is why they won't admit to things in their life that they dislike or that aren't going the way they want them to.

All of this makes it very difficult to be around them.

So, if you need help to deal with a narcissist in your life, reach out to us at Overcomers Counseling.

We'll be here for you.

Resources 

 Are Narcissists Actually Covering Up Insecurity? | Psychology Today

What Drives Narcissism? (michiganpsychologicalassociation.org)

Why some narcissists actually hate themselves - BBC Worklife

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Depression

Are there specific therapy services for anxiety and depression covered by Medicaid?

Yes, Medicaid provides insurance coverage for therapy services specifically designed to help individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.

What are the benefits of therapy for treating depression?

Therapy provides many benefits for people battling depression. Research has shown that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in managing depressive symptoms. In addition, therapy can teach healthy coping skills and provide emotional support during difficult times. It may also be used as part of a comprehensive treatment plan which includes medication as well as lifestyle changes such as regular exercise and improved nutrition.

How long does depression counseling typically take?

The duration of depression counseling varies for each individual, depending on the severity of their depression and their progress in therapy. Our therapists will regularly assess your progress and adjust your treatment plan as needed.

I don't want to ruin the holidays for my family by being sad all the time. What can I do?

It's important to remember that you are allowed to grieve however you need to, and that doesn't mean you have to ruin the holidays for everyone else. If you need to take a break from holiday festivities, do so. Go for a walk, take a nap, watch a movie—whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. You can also try talking to your family about your grief ahead of time and asking for their understanding and support.

What can happen if I don't seek help for my depression?

Ignoring depression can exacerbate symptoms and make it more challenging to manage over time. This can result in a negative impact on your personal, professional, and social life, leading to feelings of isolation and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

Are there natural remedies I can use to manage my depression?

Yes! There are many effective natural remedies that may be beneficial in managing depressive symptoms, such as participating in regular physical activity, changing your diet, getting adequate sleep, practicing relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation, journaling about your feelings/thoughts/emotions, seeking out social activities/support groups with other individuals struggling with similar issues