The Words I Say vs. The Words He Says - Spiritual Truth to Negative Talk

When you can’t choose or control your circumstances, you can still decide how you’ll respond to them. Paul was in prison when he wrote...

Christian Therapy
March 21, 2025

When you can’t choose or control your circumstances, you can still decide how you’ll respond to them. Paul was in prison when he wrote,

“Rejoice in the Lord always.”Phil. 4:4

Having a pessimistic outlook on life or talking negatively to yourself or others frequently is a serious thing.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.”Pr. 18-21

The Spiritual Truth

That means you can talk yourself to death or talk yourself to life. This is Scriptural truth. The trouble is we don’t always recognize when we’re engaging in negative self-talk, because it's habit-forming. We unconsciously develop a compromised view of ourselves when we constantly think and say things like, "I’m such a loser", or ‘This is too hard, why even try?’ We settle for defeat when with a few minor attitude adjustments, we could open the door to amazing possibilities. The worst part of negative self-talk is that we don’t just limit ourselves: we limit God. As His redeemed child, there resides within you the power to think better, talk better and do better.

Paul says,

To Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us…be glory…forever.Eph. 3:20-21 It’s time to draw a line in the sand and declare, ‘Whatever God says about me, I will say too!’ Take a minute and listen to the popular Christian song, “You Say” by Lauren Daigle that earmarks these words, “You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing. You say I am strong when I think I am weak. And you say I am held when I am falling short. And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours. And I believe. Oh, I believe. What You say of me, I believe.”

Let’s acknowledge that sometimes life is hard. And some of us have it harder than others.

That’s why the Bible says there is a time to cry and a time to laugh’ Ecc. 3:4

But what if you just keep ‘crying’ about life?

How can you reduce the strain and drain produced by negative self-talk?

Here are three ways:

  1. Cut and paste

Train yourself to recognize negative inner chatter the minute it starts and delete it immediately. Even if you have to, take a chain saw to it, slam the door on those thoughts, yell STOP, to end the rumination of those negative statements.  If it helps, make a ‘time out’ signal with your hands as a physical reminder to yourself. But don’t stop there.  Replace those negative thoughts with Scriptural self-talk.

Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.Pro. 21:23

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a promise to rely on! Who doesn’t want to ‘keep his soul from troubles.’?

  1. Tweak your tone

You know how the doctor says, “This may pinch a little,’ as he jabs the needle into your arm? Borrow his technique and reduce the big ugly wordage to smaller, unintimidating terms. ‘Impossible’ is a brick wall compared to ‘this may take some work’. Wouldn’t you rather tackle a project that’s ‘challenging’ rather than ‘unmanageable?’ (3.) Be your own BFF (Blessed Friend Forever). Using your BFF voice, intentionally over-dub that negative droning voice inside you. Speak to yourself like you would to your very best friend. The Bible says, David encouraged himself in the Lord his God’ 1 Sam. 30:6. Reboot your mind. Reprogram your thoughts. Rewire your brain. There’s power in God’s Word. So, whatever He says about you, start saying the same thing and watch your life change for the better.

  1. Positive self-talk isn’t’ a new concept; it’s a Scriptural one.

Paul writes, "Fix your thoughts on what is, true…honorable…right…pure…lovely, and admirable…things that are excellent and worthy of praise," Phil 4:8.Here are three ways to do that:

  1. Avoid comparisons. Each of us has different skills, abilities, characteristics, appearances-shapes and sizes. You’re unique.  God created you to be like no other. Comparison is unwise, unfair, and fosters negativity.  Let God through His Word convince you of how special you truly are to Him. As you allow God to transform your thinking, you will find acceptance in who you are, in who’s you are.  A child of God.
  2. Tack on hope. The Bible says, ‘Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept on believing.’ And the Psalmist said, “I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God’. Ps 42.5.  There’s power in the word ‘yet’.  It can miraculously transform your “I can’t" perspective, into “I can”. In fact, in that simple word, ‘yet’, comes mountain-moving-faith.
  3. Act positively to actually become positive. There was a study that confirmed that signals transmitted to a person’s brain when they’re behaving a certain way, provoke similar physical and mental changes to those elicited by real emotional responses.  In other words, putting on a happy face can truly make you feel happier.  Don’t wait until you "feel" motivated to change, motivation is irrelevant, action leads to motivation.  Get moving and you will find that you take even more action.

Conclusion

Pessimism affects you spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. Negativity is directly related to heart disease, immune system deficits, and the ability to cope with physical pain. Studies have shown that optimism and pessimism affect your health almost as clearly as physical factors. One of the great findings of modern medical science is that the words we speak don’t just affect others, they affect us too. Sometimes, even more. You believe and internalize what you repeatedly say. That means you have the God-given ability to change your perception of your own abilities from limited to limitless. This means you can do whatever God has told you to do in His Word. Whatever He calls you to do, He will enable you to do. And that’ll happen when you line up what comes out of your mouth with what’s written in His Word.

Phil. 4:13 says,

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

What a relief!!!!!

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Christian Therapy

What if standing up for myself leads to persecution?

Jesus reminded His followers that they might face persecution for standing up for righteousness (Matthew 5:10-12). But He also promised blessings and rewards for those who endure. Therefore, do not fear standing up for what is right, even in the face of adversity.

How can I apply these biblical teachings about standing up for myself in my everyday life?

Start by understanding your worth as God's creation. Then, strive to maintain your integrity, express yourself honestly and respectfully, forgive and respond to evil with good, and rely on God's strength and wisdom in conflicts. These principles can guide you in various situations—whether at work, school, home, or in your community.

How can I stand up for myself without resorting to anger or violence?

The Bible encourages us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). This means expressing our feelings and needs honestly but respectfully, without resorting to harmful words or actions. Prayer, wisdom, and guidance from the Holy Spirit are also crucial in such situations.

Doesn't turning the other cheek mean I should always avoid conflict?

The teaching of turning the other cheek is about responding to evil with good, not avoiding conflict. It encourages non-retaliation and forgiveness. However, it doesn't mean allowing persistent injustice or abuse.

Is standing up for myself in conflict with the Christian principle of humility?

No, standing up for oneself does not conflict with Christian humility. Humility involves recognizing our dependence on God and others, not devaluing ourselves. It's possible to maintain humility while asserting our dignity and rights.