How to Cope With the Loss of Your Parent

Our parents are the two most influential people in our lives. However close or distant you were from your parents, grieving their loss is challenging in its...

Our parents are the two most influential people in our lives.

However close or distant you were from your parents, grieving their loss is challenging in its own unique manner for everyone.

Reality check: even for mature individuals, mourning is seldom that simple.

In the case of significant losses, without grief support, it may take some time to learn to accept and cope with the ongoing presence of sorrow.

Here are some ways you can learn to cope with the loss of your parent.

Something people need to understand is that feeling distraught and devastated about the news of your parent's death is normal.

Validating how you feel about your loss is the first step to learning how to cope with the loss of your parent.

People often believe that repressing their sadness would hasten their recovery from loss.

Actually, it has the opposite effect.

If you try to stifle your emotions, they will just build up inside of you until it gets too much for you to handle.

Taking the time to remember and celebrate the life of your departed loved one can help you get beyond your grief.

It serves as a reminder of the good times you had together.

Read on to learn more ways to cope with the loss of your parent.

Validate Your Feelings 

Realize that your feelings are legitimate.

While sadness is a natural reaction to a parent's death, other emotions are equally frequent.

It's also okay if you don't feel sad at all.

Maybe all you can feel is numbness or relief that their suffering is over.

The experience of loss may unleash a tidal wave of layered and sometimes contradictory feelings.

Despite the difficulties, your parent-child bond was an essential part of who you are now.

It's normal to have a hard time processing your emotions after such a devastating loss.

Know that your emotions are valid, even if they don't match up with what others believe you "should" feel.

Don't Try to Suppress Any Feelings 

Rather than fighting it, understanding the dynamics of sorrow might help you cope with it.

In order to cope with their loss, some individuals naturally bottle up their feelings.

It might be an attempt to "remain tough."

It could be the urge to escape into work, fitness, drugs, alcohol, or anything else.

But if you never give yourself permission to feel, this strategy won't help you learn to live with and go beyond your emotions.

In addition, burying or denying emotions may lead to explosive outbursts or an inability to connect with other people on an emotional level.

The healing process begins in the body when you give yourself permission to mourn.

No doubt, distractions may help you get through the day, but using them constantly is not healthy in the long run.

By letting yourself experience the pain, you'll be more motivated to discover solutions to your problems and learn to live with your loss.

It fortifies your mental fortitude.

Honor Their Memory 

To commemorate your parent's memory, find a means to honor them in your life.

To keep their parent's memory alive in their everyday life, some families keep pictures and souvenirs of their parents around the house.

Do things that help you feel closer to your parent.

You may cook their favorite dish that you both used to make together, write letters to them, and acknowledge their birthdays or important anniversaries.

These actions will help you process your emotions, and through this, you learn how you can cope with the loss of your parent.

After your parent dies, certain holidays, such as Mother's Day and Father's Day, your birthday, and notable anniversaries might be difficult to deal with.

During times like this, ensure you surround yourself with loved ones that can help you through such difficult times.

Also, keeping their traditions alive is one way to pay tribute to them or preserve their memory.

It can make you feel better to start your own traditions so that your children can continue both you and your deceased parent's traditions with them.

A doting mother holding her daughter.

Take Care of Yourself 

Ensure your own well-being.

It's easy to get overwhelmed with sadness.

However, prioritizing your personal health can help you cope with stress and unhappiness better.

Spend time getting proper rest, eating healthfully, and exercising often.

Do activities that make you happy as well.

Plan various periods of the year to travel if you like doing so.

If you find peace via painting, invest in materials or join an art group.

The death of one person in your life doesn't mean your life has to end too.

Also, ask for and accept help.

Let those around you help you, whether it's assisting with the funeral or chores around the house.

Accepting or asking for help is part of taking care of yourself.

You can't deal with everything in your life while grieving at the same time.

Establish a Support System 

Turn to your support networks, whether they be your family, friends, group therapist, or a grief counselor.

According to research, reaching out to a family member or close friend who has lost a parent might be helpful.

According to other studies, assistance from family members and therapy are beneficial for both young people and middle-aged individuals who lose a parent.

Pick confidantes who can provide you with a sympathetic ear when you need it.

You may find that talking things out can help you process your feelings.

Your loved ones, family, and friends are here for a purpose.

Bereavement support groups are helpful because you get to talk to others going through the same thing.

Conclusion

Losing a parent is a very personal experience.

There isn't a timeframe or "regular" route.

Everybody approaches things differently.

However, taking measures to comprehend one's feelings and find support for grief can help one cope with the loss of your parent.

Start by using these methods: validate your feelings, don't try to suppress your feelings, honor their memory, take care of yourself, and establish a support system.

Resources 

https://www.healthline.com/health/losing-a-parent#care-for-yourself

https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/grief/psychologists-tips-for-grieving-the-loss-of-a-parent/

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/loss-of-parent

https://psychcentral.com/blog/motherless-daughters-coping-with-your-loss#how-to-cope

https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information/support-for-yourself/parent-loss

https://www.vice.com/amp/en/article/kzkk7y/five-ways-to-cope-with-your-parents-death

Author

Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions

Questions about Grief

Is there any support for family members affected by a loved one's death?

Yes, we provide supportive counseling for family members who are struggling with the loss of a loved one. Our compassionate therapists can help you gain insight into your feelings and provide constructive strategies to cope with the pain of bereavement.

What can happen if I don't seek help for my grief?

Ignoring grief can exacerbate symptoms and make it more challenging to manage over time. This can result in a negative impact on your personal, professional, and social life, leading to feelings of isolation, chronic sadness, and even physical health complications.

How can I tell if I need grief counseling?

If you find yourself having difficulty managing daily activities due to lingering feelings associated with grief such as sadness, anger, guilt or numbness; then it might be beneficial for you to seek professional help through our Colorado Springs Grief Counseling services. Our therapists are trained in helping clients identify their needs and goals related to grieving.

The holidays were always my loved one's favorite time of year. What can I do to honor their memory?

There are many ways you can honor your loved one's memory during the holidays. You could decorate in their favorite colors, play their favorite music, make their favorite food, or even just talk about them often throughout the holiday season. You could also create a new tradition in their memory, such as planting a tree or making a donation in their name.

Do I have to talk about my loss during grief counseling sessions?

It is not mandatory that all conversations revolve around the issue causing your grief but our therapists will provide guidance on how best to process the situation. You are in control of how much or little you want to share in a session, but it is important to stay open and honest with your therapist for optimal results.

What are some things I should avoid saying to an elderly loved one who is grieving?

There are a few things you should avoid saying to someone who is grieving, as they can come across as insensitive or unhelpful. For example, don't tell them that it's "time to move on" or that they "should be over it by now." It's also best not to make any assumptions about how they're feeling or what they need – instead, ask them directly how you can help.

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