Coping with the death of a child is a daunting experience people often go through. It can even be more difficult when the child dies from suicide.
The feelings of despair, guilt, shock, sadness, and confusion can be overwhelming, and you may struggle with conflicting emotions and coming to terms with the situation.
Through the difficult emotions and pain, you must find ways to cope with losing a child to suicide.
One of those ways is to grieve in your way.
You must give yourself the grace to feel and express whatever difficult emotions you experience.
Attempting to mask your feelings or conform to other people's ideas of grief will only delay and intensify your grief.
Also, you can rely on others for support.
Walking through grief feels much less lonely when you have people you can rely on for grief support.
Rely on friends, family, grief support groups, or therapists for support.
Another effective way to cope with the loss of a child is to let go of all the blame, guilt, and anger you might feel.
No matter how much you wish you could have seen the warning signs or how much you blame yourself, some circumstances are simply beyond your control.
You must let go of all the hard feelings against yourself and others to heal completely.
Continue this overview to learn helpful ways to cope with losing a child to suicide.
Even with a shared loss, grief is a highly personal experience.
Everyone experiences grief differently, and there's no right or wrong grieving style.
Hence, grieving in ways that seem right to you can help you cope with losing a child to suicide.
Let yourself experience all the difficult emotions that come with grief. It's alright to feel heartache, confusion, anxiety, and worry.
Sitting with your difficult feelings is necessary in order to overcome them and grieve wholly.
Doing otherwise -ignoring or masking your feelings- will only deepen your pain over time.
You can also look for ways to express your difficult feelings.
You can share your thoughts and emotions with your partner, friends, and family or decide to journal if you're not ready to talk.
Writing down your feelings and experiences will help you release negative and difficult emotions and gradually let them go.
In addition, you must be patient with yourself as you grieve.
Regardless of how young or old your child was, take as much time as you deem fit when grieving.
Don't rush the process, as it's during the process that you'll find healing.
Often, people who lose their loved ones to suicide tend to withdraw from others for fear of being a burden or being judged.
However, reaching out to others for support can help you cope with losing a child to suicide, and whenever you're ready, sharing what you're experiencing can be a vital first step in your healing journey.
Reach out to trusted friends and family willing to listen without judgment and confide in them.
Friends and family can play a major supportive role in helping you grieve, so look out for the ones you trust and keep them close.
Also, you can join a bereavement support group in your community.
Opening up to someone about losing a child to suicide can be tough; however, with people with similar experiences, you can connect and open up about your feelings.
If you still struggle to find adequate support, your best bet is to turn to a mental health professional who can help you with grief counseling or other programs.
A therapist will help you walk through your feelings of grief and assist you in your healing journey.
It's natural to constantly question yourself after losing a loved one to suicide.
Your mind begins to ruminate on the clues you might have missed, the reason for their suicide, and things you could have done differently.
This can lead to an unhealthy cycle of rumination and mental health problems like depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Thus, accepting the unknown is paramount to your healing journey and learning to cope with losing a child to suicide.
Suicide is a complicated subject.
Although most people lost by suicide show signs of mental health problems, many other associated factors may be impossible to discern.
Even if you get the opportunity to read notes your child left behind, you might not be able to get answers to all your questions.
It might not provide the closure you're searching for or make your pain any less.
While it's normal to want to try to understand the situation, you will likely be left with many unanswered questions.
Even if you get answers, you can't go back in time or erase what has happened.
With time, you must move beyond seeking answers, accept the unknown, and gradually begin to heal.
With any loss, grief often comes in unpredictable stages filled with highs and lows and several moments of conflicting emotions.
Among the prominent emotions, people who have lost a child to suicide feel are anger, blame, and guilt.
Whether these emotions are directed at yourself or others, it's essential to let go of them to cope with losing a child to suicide.
You may blame yourself for not seeing the signs and feel responsible for the situation.
However, there's only so much you can control; in reality, we have far less power to control things than we like to believe.
More often than not, people contemplating suicide appear to be "normal" to friends and family.
They usually mask their feelings by going out with friends, smiling more, or displaying calmness. There's no way anyone could foresee what's to come.
In addition, looking for someone to blame is a typical response after losing a child to suicide.
The blame could be internalized, and directed at others or God.
However, it's essential to understand that the responsibility only lies with the depression, pain, sadness, or mental health issue that prompted your child to commit suicide.
Losing a child to suicide can change one's plans, direction, and future.
However, life can still be filled with laughter, happy memories, meaning, and fulfillment once more.
As you cope with losing a child to suicide, reflecting on happy memories and good times with your child can be helpful.
You can create a memorial or tribute online, make a scrapbook of your child's life, join the suicide awareness campaign, or donate to charity organizations in your child's name.
Doing these activities can help you heal and honor your child's life.
Similarly, you can use your experience to impact the lives of others. Several other people are going through similar experiences.
By volunteering at a suicide prevention, bereavement, or mental health organization, you can connect and help others heal from the pain of suicide loss.
As time goes by, you can find new activities that bring new meaning to your life.
It could be trying out new sports, joining social groups, exploring an interest, enrolling in a fitness class, or finding a new hobby.
Acquiring new experiences and skills can help you ease through your grieving process.
Experiencing the loss of a child by suicide is very difficult, and walking through this road of grief may not be easy. However, there are healthy ways you can cope with losing a child to suicide.
Those ways include grieving in your own way, seeking support from others, moving beyond seeking answers, letting go of hard feelings, and looking forward to the future.
https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-with-a-Child%27s-Suicide
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-a-loved-ones-suicide.htm
https://www.apa.org/topics/suicide/coping-after
https://afsp.org/story/how-i-survived-the-suicide-of-my-son-15-tips-for-grieving-parents/
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/30/well/family/suicide-loss-parents-survivors-therapy-healing.html
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
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