The death of a loved one is a difficult thing to go through.You are already feeling a range of emotions - sadness, anger, disbelief. And on top of all that,...
The death of a loved one is a difficult thing to go through.
You are already feeling a range of emotions - sadness, anger, disbelief.
And on top of all that, you might also be dealing with grief shaming.
Here is how to recognize grief shaming and how to respond to it.
Grief shaming is when people say things to you that invalidate your experience or make you feel like you are not grieving "correctly."
Grief shaming can come from well-meaning friends or family members who want you to "move on" or "get over it."
It can also come from strangers who make comments about your public displays of grief.
Whatever the source, grief shaming is never helpful and can actually make the grieving process even more difficult.
People grieve in different ways and at different speeds.
What works for one person might not work for another. Some people find solace in talking about their loved ones.
Some people prefer privacy with their memories in order to navigate the grieving process.
Some people cry frequently, while others only cry occasionally.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve - everyone does it differently.
Unfortunately, our society does not always have a very good understanding of grief.
And so, when people see someone grieving in a way that they don't understand, they might say something hurtful in an attempt to "fix" the situation.
But grief cannot be fixed - it is simply a part of the healing process.
Grief shaming can cause a lot of pain and suffering for those who are already struggling with the loss of a loved one.
Comments like "you should be over it by now" or "it's been long enough, don't you think?" can make a grieving person feel like they are not allowed to grieve or that they are somehow doing it wrong.
This can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation.
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one and someone says something that makes you feel bad, remember that it is not your fault and that you are not alone.
Grieving is a natural process that looks different for everyone.
Do what feels right for you and don't let anyone else tell you how to grieve.
The first step is to acknowledge your feelings.
It's natural to feel a range of emotions after a loss, and there's no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve.
So if you find yourself feeling angry, sad, or even guilty, know that these are all normal reactions to loss.
Once you've acknowledged your feelings, it will be easier to deal with the next step.
It's also important to set boundaries with others.
This means politely declining invitations or requests that you're not ready for, and it also means speaking up if someone says something that makes you uncomfortable.
Remember, you have a right to grieve in whatever way feels right for you�so don't let anyone take that away from you.
It can be helpful to seek out support from others who have experienced loss.
These people understand what you're going through and can offer valuable advice and support.
You may find comfort in attending a grief support group or meeting one-on-one with a grief counselor.
Who grief shames?
Grief shaming can be done by anyone, but it is often done by well-meaning family and friends who are struggling to see the person they love in pain. It can also be done by strangers or acquaintances who don't know how to respond to someone's grief.
Why do people grief shame?
There are a number of reasons why people might grieve shame. Sometimes, it's because they simply don't know what else to say or do. Other times, it's because they're struggling with their own grief and feel like they need to take it out on someone else. Additionally, some people might do it because they believe that the person grieving is not handling their emotions in the "right" way.
How can I avoid grief shaming?
If you're not sure what to say to someone who is grieving, it's always best to err on the side of caution and say nothing at all. If you do want to say something, try to avoid giving advice or telling the person how they should feel. Instead, focus on listening and being supportive. Additionally, try to avoid making assumptions about how the person is feeling or how they should be coping with their loss.
What should I do if I've been grief shamed?
If you've been on the receiving end of grief shaming, it's important to remember that you are not obligated to explain or justify your emotions to anyone. You can simply tell the person that their comments are hurtful and ask them to stop. If you're not comfortable doing that, you can also choose to walk away or end the conversation altogether.
At Overcomers Counseling, we understand how difficult it can be to cope with a loss.
Our team of experienced grief counselors is here to help you through the process of healing and recovery.
We offer compassionate and nonjudgmental support in our individual counseling sessions and group therapy sessions, so please don't hesitate to reach out for help if you need it.
We're here for you every step of the way.
Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you cope with your grief in a healthy, respectful way.
Dealing with grief is never easy�but dealing with grief shaming can make it even harder. If you're struggling to cope, remember that you're not alone.
There are many people who understand what you're going through and who can offer support and advice.
Acknowledge your feelings, set boundaries with others, and seek out support when needed.
With time and patience, you will get through this difficult time.
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
It is not mandatory that all conversations revolve around the issue causing your grief but our therapists will provide guidance on how best to process the situation. You are in control of how much or little you want to share in a session, but it is important to stay open and honest with your therapist for optimal results.
It is completely normal to feel dread or even fear when thinking about the upcoming holiday season. One way to ease your anxiety is by planning ahead and being prepared for how you will deal with tough moments. If there are certain events you know will be difficult, try to come up with an exit strategy beforehand so you can leave if needed. It can also be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor before the holidays to help you manage your expectations and emotions.
If you find yourself having difficulty managing daily activities due to lingering feelings associated with grief such as sadness, anger, guilt or numbness; then it might be beneficial for you to seek professional help through our Colorado Springs Grief Counseling services. Our therapists are trained in helping clients identify their needs and goals related to grieving.
There are many ways you can honor your loved one's memory during the holidays. You could decorate in their favorite colors, play their favorite music, make their favorite food, or even just talk about them often throughout the holiday season. You could also create a new tradition in their memory, such as planting a tree or making a donation in their name.
Dealing with grief involves allowing yourself to experience grief, seeking support from family members or a mental health professional, and taking care of your physical health. It's also important to remember that everyone grieves differently and there's no "right" way to grieve.
Grief may feel worse at night because sleep disturbances are common during the grieving process. As nighttime falls, distractions diminish and we're left alone with our thoughts, which can make the loss feel overwhelming.
