Effective Ways to Support Your Grieving Partner

Grief
March 26, 2025

Dealing with your own grief is a difficult task, but what about helping your partner through theirs?

It's a valid concern to ponder how one may comfort a bereaved spouse or partner.

Since mourning is an individual experience, there is no definitive guidebook outlining proper protocol.

However, if handled poorly or without enough grief support, the reverse might happen, and a rift can form between you.

Some ways you can support your grieving partner involve encouraging them to communicate their feelings to you.

While you learn more about how they are feeling, you provide them a means to let out any pent-up emotions.

An important thing to remember is that grief doesn't have an end date.

Even your partner may not know how long it will take them to mourn their loss.

This is why giving them space, when needed, is also important.

Some people want to be cuddled when they lose a loved one; others just want space.

Read on to learn more about effective ways to support your grieving partner. 

Encourage Them to Communicate With You

One of the most useful ways to support your grieving partner is to encourage them to have a conversation about their loss.

You need not be an expert on grieving or have all the answers to be supportive.

What you need to do is be there to listen when they're ready to talk.

Keep in mind that they may also have lost the person they shared everything with; therefore, they will need something to fill that void.

If you do not feel up to playing this position, it is crucial that you assist them in locating a suitable confidant.

Even if it helps things go more smoothly in the short term, nobody benefits from emotional repression in the long run.

Talking and sharing is one of the finest methods to go through their feelings and start to achieve a place of acceptance.

Keep in Mind That Grief Has No End Date

Experiencing loss is an individual experience with no predetermined timeline.

The time it takes to get over a loss is very individual; many individuals need a couple of months or years to heal, and some may need more or less.

You should not force your mourning partner to feel like they need to move on.

The healing process might be slowed down by this.

They will eventually quit sobbing every day.

And soon, life will go back to normal for them.

However, the pain of loss never fades away entirely.

To accept this and to see that there is usually more going on under the surface takes some maturity.

One way you can support your grieving partner is by being there for them while they work through their pain.

It's crucial to the success of a relationship, but don't expect it to be a breeze.

Let Them Have Space

Handling sorrow or loss isn't something you need to do for other people; everyone grieves in their own way.

When a spouse wants to be alone, it's unproductive to try to coax them to do stuff or, generally, to overwhelm them with love and care.

There may be moments when your significant other wants to be alone and others when they need you to be there for them.

Don't bother them if they say they need some time to themselves

They only need to know that they can count on you to be there for them at any time.

Allow them the room and independence to do as they like.

Though it's understandable to want to comfort your spouse at a time of loss, doing so might be stifling if they need time alone to go through their feelings.

Just be there for them, even if it means giving them space, and hear them out as they share what they need and want from you at this trying time.

Also, grievers often benefit from being near those who understand what they're going through.

Two partners holding hands in the woods.

Help Put Things Together 

Another way to support your grieving partner is by helping them carry out various tasks that they have to do.

For example, if your partner is supposed to be the one making arrangements for the deceased, this is where you can step in.

This is because trying to organize a funeral or memorial service while you're still reeling from the loss of a loved one may be a terrible experience.

While some individuals may simply force themselves to concentrate, others may need a little more assistance putting the pieces together.

Assisting them in making decisions concerning the funeral will help reduce the burden they may be feeling.

Also, when your partner is grieving, don't rely on this person to do their fair share of chores around the home.

Don't feel like you have to shoulder all the housework by yourself just because of this.

What you can do is deal with the influx of well-intentioned offers of assistance.

Helping your spouse out by relieving some of their burdens is vital during these times.

Offer Emotional Support Without Judgment 

The first step is to recognize how you can give emotional assistance to a grieving spouse or partner.

When someone is mourning, the emotional support they may get from their loved ones can make all the difference in their ability to recover.

One method to emotionally support your grieving partner is to sit and listen to their stories about the person they lost.

It might also be from often hearing the individual go over the details of the death of a loved one.

Being emotionally supportive also entails being available to your spouse even if they don't want to talk and respecting their desire for silence.

Conclusion

In a long-term relationship, it's likely that both parties may eventually lose a loved one, so learning how to support one another as best you can is essential.

After the death of someone dear, your partner will need more love, care, grief support, and understanding from you.

Some effective ways to support your grieving partner include encouraging them to communicate with you, keeping in mind that grief doesn't have an end date, letting them have space, helping put things together, and offering emotional support without judgment.

Resources 

https://life-loss.com/how-to-support-your-grieving-spouse-or-partner/

https://hellorelish.com/articles/6-ways-to-comfort-your-partner-in-their-time-of-grief.html

https://trustandwill.com/learn/supporting-your-spouse-during-grief

https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-support-your-partner-through-grief/amp

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/sober-partner

https://www.relate.org.uk/how-support-grieving-partner

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Grief

How long does grief counseling typically take?

The duration of grief counseling varies for each individual, depending on the severity of their grief and their progress in therapy. Our therapists will regularly assess your progress and adjust your treatment plan as needed.

Why does grief seem worse in the morning?

Grief can seem worse in the morning as the reality of the loss is often one of the first thoughts upon waking. This can be particularly true if you shared many mornings with the person who has passed away during wonderful years spent together.

What are some signs that you're ready to move on?

Some signs that you may be ready to move on include feeling at peace with the breakup, no longer regularly thinking about your ex, and having a renewed sense of optimism. Ultimately, only you can decide when you're ready to start dating again or take other steps toward moving on.

Why is it important to address grief?

Addressing grief is crucial because unresolved grief can significantly impact your quality of life, overall well-being, and ability to function in daily activities. Left unaddressed, grief can lead to more severe mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and complicated grief.

What are some common symptoms of grief in the elderly?

There are a variety of symptoms that can be associated with grief in the elderly. Some common physical symptoms include fatigue, changes in appetite, and difficulty sleeping. Emotional symptoms can include sadness, anger, anxiety, and guilt. It's also common for those who are grieving to withdraw from social activities and lose interest in hobbies or activities they once enjoyed.

The holidays were always my loved one's favorite time of year. What can I do to honor their memory?

There are many ways you can honor your loved one's memory during the holidays. You could decorate in their favorite colors, play their favorite music, make their favorite food, or even just talk about them often throughout the holiday season. You could also create a new tradition in their memory, such as planting a tree or making a donation in their name.