Do I Need Therapy? How to Know if You Need Therapy

Therapy, also known as counseling or psychotherapy, is a process centered around helping individuals understand...

Coping Skills
March 21, 2025

Therapy, also known as counseling or psychotherapy, is a process centered around helping individuals understand and resolve problems, modify behavior, and make positive changes in their lives. It offers numerous benefits, including providing new ways to handle difficult situations, understanding oneself better, and improving relationships with others. Unfortunately, there are many misconceptions about therapy - some believe it's only for serious mental health issues or that seeking help is a sign of weakness. However, the reality is quite different. Therapy can be beneficial for anyone facing life's challenges, and reaching out for help is, in fact, a sign of strength and self-awareness. This article will explore these concepts further and help you understand if therapy might be right for you.

Understanding Why We Cry When We're Angry

Crying when angry is a complex emotional response that combines physiological and psychological elements. At its core is the body's fight-or-flight response, an evolutionary mechanism activated by perceived threats. When anger arises, the body interprets it as danger, triggering hormonal changes that may lead to tears, especially if we feel powerless or unable to express anger effectively. Psychologically, crying during anger can function as a form of communication, signaling distress and prompting empathy or assistance from others. Additionally, it serves as a safety valve, helping to release pent-up emotions and stress, allowing the mind to cope with intense feelings and restore emotional balance.

The Impact of Crying When Angry

In personal relationships, crying when angry can have varying effects. It may prompt understanding and compassion from loved ones, fostering deeper emotional connections by communicating vulnerability, a need for support, or a desire for conflict resolution. However, if it happens frequently, it could lead to misunderstandings or frustrations, potentially straining relationships, as loved ones may feel overwhelmed or unsure of how to respond, especially if the tears seem disproportionate to the situation. In professional interactions, crying when angry is often viewed differently. Although workplaces are gradually becoming more accepting of emotional expression, crying linked to anger is still often seen as a sign of weakness or lack of control, which could affect one's professional image and influence perceptions of competence and credibility. That said, it's important to recognize that emotional responses vary, and understanding this diversity can help foster a more empathetic and inclusive workplace.

Techniques to Control Crying When Angry

A. Deep Breathing Exercises

One of the most effective ways to control crying when angry is through deep breathing exercises. This technique involves taking slow, deep breaths, which can help calm your nervous system and reduce emotional intensity. When you're feeling angry, try this: Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of seven, and then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of eight. Repeat this cycle several times until you start feeling calmer. Research has shown that deep breathing can significantly reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, which often accompany anger.

B. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is another powerful tool that can help manage emotions. It's the practice of staying present and fully engaged with what we're doing at the moment, free from judgment or distraction. By focusing on the here and now, mindfulness can help us stay grounded during emotionally charged moments. A simple mindfulness meditation practice to start with is observing your breath. Just sit quietly and focus on your breath as it goes in and out. If your mind begins to wander, gently bring it back to your breath. Studies have found that regular mindfulness practice can improve emotional regulation and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.

C. Cognitive Behavioral Techniques

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that can be very effective in managing crying when angry. CBT involves identifying negative thought patterns that contribute to emotional distress and working to change them. For instance, if you tend to cry when you're angry because you believe you're powerless, CBT can help you challenge this belief and develop a more balanced perspective. While CBT is typically conducted with a therapist, there are also many self-help resources available that teach CBT techniques.

Seeking Professional Help

While everyone has moments of heightened emotion, if you find that your reactions are consistently intense, difficult to control, or negatively impacting your daily life and relationships, it might be time to consider professional help. This could include situations where you avoid certain situations for fear of becoming angry and crying, or if you're feeling constantly on edge, anxious, or depressed. There's no shame in seeking help. It's a proactive step towards better understanding and managing your emotions. There are several types of therapies and treatments available to help manage crying when angry. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), as mentioned earlier, can be particularly effective. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is another option that combines CBT techniques with mindfulness strategies. In some cases, medication may be recommended as part of a comprehensive treatment plan. It's important to work with a healthcare provider to determine the best approach for your specific needs. They can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, identify triggers, and develop effective coping strategies.

Conclusion

Managing emotional responses, specifically controlling crying when angry, is a crucial aspect of emotional health and interpersonal relationships. The strategies discussed - deep breathing exercises, mindfulness and meditation, and cognitive behavioral techniques - are all practical tools that can help in effectively dealing with these intense emotions. It's perfectly normal to seek assistance in this journey. Don't hesitate to try out these suggested techniques and observe how they work for you. If your emotions continue to feel overwhelming, seeking professional help is a strong and beneficial step forward. Your mental health matters and there are resources and professionals ready to provide the support you need.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Coping Skills

How can I find a qualified life coach for my career goals?

You can find a qualified life coach by asking for referrals from friends or colleagues, searching online directories or asking your professional network for recommendations.

What is a life coaching course?

A life coaching course is an online program that helps individuals achieve their personal and professional goals through structured guidance and advice. It offers tools and strategies to help you identify areas of improvement, set clear objectives, and build a personalized plan for success.

What are some ways I can accept a stressful situation?

Accepting the things you cannot change is crucial, so you shouldn't try to control the uncontrollable; instead, look for the upside. Share your feelings with a therapist, friend, or family member, and learn to forgive if relevant.

How can I adapt to stressors?

You can adapt to stressors and new situations by looking at the big picture, focusing on the positive, reframing problems, and adjusting your standards when necessary. Setting reasonable standards is a surefire way to avoid unnecessary anxiety.

How often should I meet with my coach?

This will depend on your individual needs but it's generally recommended that clients meet with their coach at least once per week for maximum effectiveness.

Can I use both emotion-focused and solution-focused coping strategies simultaneously?

Yes, it's possible to use a combination of both coping strategies to manage stress effectively. In fact, employing a range of coping mechanisms can lead to better psychological health outcomes. Failing to address one's issues can have serious consequences, making it crucial to develop effective coping strategies.