Self-soothing is a strategy used to regulate emotions (more commonly known as "calming down") after a person encounters...
Self-soothing is a strategy used to regulate emotions (more commonly known as "calming down") after a person encounters an upsetting event, but what are the best self-soothing techniques to help you cope? Everyone responds uniquely to stressors and emotional triggers, but one of the most common helpful techniques is to take slow, deep breaths. Some people also find that closing their eyes and counting down from 10 to 0 is one of the most helpful ways to regulate their emotions when they are upset. It's important to find self-soothing techniques to help you cope that are easy to do anywhere at any time to regulate potentially disruptive emotions like sadness, anger, and fear.
Learning self-soothing techniques to help you cope with stress, anxiety, depression, and life, in general, is crucial to maintaining your health and well-being. When a person experiences a strong emotional reaction to something that causes stress, they naturally want to counter that experience with a soothing one. The soothing experience is often amplified when the person is in the company of someone they trust, which can help them regain their emotional equilibrium and reduce stress and anxiety. It's well-known that soothing between people is beneficial and essential, but there hasn't been much research on the effects of self-soothing techniques. One significant study, however, focused on assessing whether self-soothing techniques to help you cope and soothing from other people had similar effects on a person's stress level.
This study, performed by Dreisoerner et al. in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic, was done when quarantines made soothing touch from others unavailable. It was important for the research team to conduct this study during the pandemic to help identify techniques that could reduce stress and anxiety during isolation. Half of the participants in the study were asked to place their right hand over their heart and their left hand over their abdomen while concentrating on their slow, deep, steady breathing, and the other half received a hug from another person. The results showed that receiving a hug and performing the self-soothing technique were equally effective at reducing levels of apprehension and stress in people.
So, what are nine self-soothing techniques to help you cope when you're anxious, stressed, angry, or upset in other ways?
Stress can take its toll when not properly managed.
Some self-soothing behaviors are simple things most people do regularly without giving them much thought, and others might be simple but never crossed your mind before. If you're interested in learning self-soothing techniques to help you cope, consider the following:
1. Find Soothing Imagery
It can be helpful for you to look at things like photos of loved ones, a burning candle, tree leaves swaying in the breeze, or photos of seascapes, forests, or other natural landscapes.
2. Change the Scenery
If you can, remove yourself from your current surroundings and go somewhere quieter and more peaceful, even if it's just for a few minutes.
3. Focused Breathing
Take slow, deep breaths in and exhale slower than you usually do, and focus your thoughts on breathing as you close your eyes.
4. Self-Massage
Gently massage your shoulders, neck, and hands for as long as possible, then follow with a good shake-out to release stress and tension in these areas.
5. Positive Affirmations
One of the most popular self-soothing techniques to help you cope is to recite positive affirmations like "I am okay" and "I am loved," which can lower stress hormone levels.
6. Coloring
Many adults have re-discovered coloring as a very helpful self-soothing technique, and it helps because of the repetitive, slow motions and back-and-forth movements of the hands.
7. Counting Down
Many people find that slowly "counting down to calmness" helps reduce stress and alleviate anxiety, and it's a technique that can be done anywhere at any time.
8. Take a Warm Bath or Shower
For many, warmth is conducive to relaxation and calmness, so a soothing warm bath or shower can work wonders if you've had a stressful day.
9. Listen to Music or Other Soothing Sounds
Music stimulates areas of the brain responsible for releasing "feel good" hormones, so putting in the earbuds and closing your eyes for a few minutes can be one of the most effective self-soothing techniques to help you cope.
There are many ways coping techniques and soothing behaviors help people alleviate stress and anxiety, so if a person doesn't try to self-soothe, they can risk unhealthy behaviors and effects. Without effective coping strategies, you risk disrupting your everyday relationships with others, including family members, friends, partners, and co-workers. Without these coping mechanisms, people can also suffer from excessive fear and worry, which can bring about uncomfortable physical symptoms like trouble sleeping, weight loss or gain, ulcers, and more.
Self-soothing techniques to help you cope with whatever life throws your way are essential to alleviating the symptoms that can accompany stress, anxiety, frustration, and fear. By experimenting and finding the coping mechanisms that work best for you, whether listening to music, taking a warm bath, counting down to calmness, or anything else, you can ensure your mental and physical health are always a priority. Be patient on your journey to practicing self-soothing techniques to help you cope, and remember that you are unique and deserve a unique set of techniques all your own to help you be happy and healthy.
https://positivepsychology.com/self-soothing/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide/201810/self-soothing-strategies-8-ways-to-calm-anxiety-and-stress
https://www.uhhospitals.org/blog/articles/2020/04/8-soothing-techniques-to-help-relieve-anxiety
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
Focus on developing healthy coping strategies, setting realistic expectations for yourself, and practicing self-care regularly.
The techniques activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which increases tolerance to distress, decreases physical discomfort, slows impulsive behaviors, and helps redirect a person's focus to bring it back to the present.
You can adapt to stressors and new situations by looking at the big picture, focusing on the positive, reframing problems, and adjusting your standards when necessary. Setting reasonable standards is a surefire way to avoid unnecessary anxiety.
This will depend on your individual needs but it's generally recommended that clients meet with their coach at least once per week for maximum effectiveness.
Yes, some effective relaxation techniques include deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, and mindfulness meditation. Experiment with different methods to find the one that works best for you.
You can find a mental health life coach through professional coaching organizations or directories, or by obtaining referrals from trusted sources. It is important to do research and find a coach who aligns with your goals and values.
