Not being able to say goodbye to a loved one before they pass away is something that is very painful and which can affect the mental state of people. The...
Not being able to say goodbye to a loved one before they pass away is something that is very painful and which can affect the mental state of people. The guilt, the regret, and the lack of closure are some of the many feelings which come with not having said farewell to a deceased loved one when they were alive. These feelings can exist with a person for years if it is not properly attended to. Many people have gone through this pain and have tried several things as a way of saying farewell to a deceased loved one. Professional experts have also recommended activities that they are confident could help. Some of these things are creating a scrapbook that will contain fond memories we shared, writing farewell letters containing words we wish we had expressed, and making a memorial as a farewell to deceased loved ones. There are other means which have been listed in the article below.
Creating a scrapbook filled with pictures of a deceased loved one's most memorable moments with us or personal memorable ones of theirs is a very therapeutic way of saying farewell to a deceased loved one. A scrapbook evokes fond memories of loved ones and is a way of appreciating the lives they lived and the memories we got to share with them. The contents of a farewell scrapbook for our deceased loved ones are not limited to pictures. We can include memorabilia in the scrapbook. It could be a sea shell they got from a memorable trip to the beach or something more random they had which evokes fun memories of them. Such a scrapbook can also contain the favorite quotes of deceased loved ones or mashups of their favorite one-liners. The scrapbook could have a sort of chronological order of the lives of a deceased loved one or could be centered around the time we shared with them. It could also be random and with no decipherable pattern. There is no right or wrong way of making a farewell scrapbook. The end goal is to make something that reminds us of them and the lives they lived and the amazing memories we shared with them.
Farewell rituals are another great way of bidding farewell to a deceased loved one. The list of things that come under this is long. The thing to have in mind when trying to start a ritual is how fitting it will be to the memory of a deceased loved one. Visiting a deceased loved one's final resting place will make for a great and befitting farewell ritual. Standing in silence next to their graves, sitting, talking to our deceased loved ones at their resting place, and placing flowers or things they would have liked are some of the many things one can do when visiting the final resting place of a deceased loved one. Going to the favorite places of deceased loved ones or places we shared strong memories with them is also a form of farewell ritual. A farewell ritual does not have to be done outside of one's home. It could be things done indoors such as looking through old photos of theirs, watching their favorite movies, listening to their favorite songs, preparing or eating then favorite meals of the deceased, etc. These acts pay tribute to and are great ways to say farewell to deceased loved ones.
The use of a memorial is the honoring, remembering, and celebrating of a loved one and the life they lived. Like other things on this article's list, memorials can be carried out in different ways. The most common across cultures is a memorial service dedicated to celebrating the deceased and appreciating their lives and the impact it had on those of their loved ones. Family and friends are invited to the memorial service for this purpose. An example of a memorial that has gained popularity in recent times involves the setting up of a small platform in a corner of the house upon which is mounted the picture of a deceased loved one and/or some of their favorite things. The platform is tributary. Some burn incense sticks around it or go to talk or say some prayers.
Some people's idea of a memorial is the planting of a tree or the creation of a garden in memory of a loved one, making frames, making jewelry containing ashes of loved ones, making statues, or having portraits of loved ones painted. One could also make personalized items as a memorial tribute. There are many options. A modern development in terms of memorials is the creation of websites or social media pages which are used as memorial platforms for a deceased loved one. The purpose of any memorial is to honor the memory of a deceased loved one and since this can take any form, there are no wrong answers. A memorial makes for a very therapeutic farewell.
Bringing happiness to others or making the lives of others better and happier in the memory of loved ones is healing and a great farewell to deceased loved ones. Donating to a random charity in memory of loved ones or to a favorite charity of theirs is a way to go. Building needed structures in the name of the loved one also work. In some instances, the deaths of loved ones are sudden and preventable or certain and predictable.
Cases of careless accidents, senseless violence, death from a condition or disease with no known cure, etc can spur the loved ones of the deceased to dedicate their lives and resources towards causes that relate to the cause of death of the deceased. Philanthropy towards organizations whose purpose is geared towards preventing such deaths helps people heal with the help of the knowledge that they are supporting a cause that will prevent others from experiencing the pain they dealt with due to the loss of a deceased. Creating a memorial scholarship, volunteering at their favorite charities, and giving out their old belongings to people who need them also fall under the examples of using philanthropy as a farewell.
When words fail us and we have emotions all tangled up in our heads, writing can be a good route to take. The pain of not having given a befitting farewell to deceased loved ones when they were alive and the word we wish we could have said can be put into writing as a farewell to a deceased loved one. Farewell writings are mostly in the form of farewell letters but one could write a poem or a song that will carry the same weight. The letter may be in any format and style as long as it carries the words and feelings one wishes the deceased had heard from them before they passed. Such farewell writings are usually stored somewhere or buried. In some cases, they are burned. Grief therapists are known to recommend such farewell writings to their clients as they know their efficacy as a therapeutic practice. Writings do not have to be physical. They may be done online and read by people who may find the words comforting or who may be encouraged to do something similar.
Grief needs proper healing if it is to be surmounted. The closure is integral to proper healing and it can be taken away from us when we do not get the opportunity to give deceased loved ones a proper farewell before they died. Such closure can be achieved afterward through a few means. Such means include creating a scrapbook, making a memorial, writing a farewell letter, philanthropy, and starting a farewell ritual amongst many other means. In situations where closure is not achieved and emotional turmoil seems insurmountable, grief therapy is advised.
https://blog.sfgate.com/lifestyle/2019/10/04/7-touching-ways-to-say-goodbye-to-a-loved-one-who-died/
https://myallamericanhospice.com/goodbye-rest-peace/
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
Grief can be particularly intense in the early days following a loss. However, it's not uncommon for grief to become more pronounced at certain times, like at night or in the morning. This can be due to the mind being busy processing the events that happened.
It can be difficult to know what to say to someone who is grieving, but sometimes simply being there for them and offering your support can be helpful. You might try saying something like, "I'm here for you if you need to talk" or "I'm sorry for your loss." You could also offer to help with practical tasks such as running errands or cooking meals.
There are a few things you can do to help ease your pain during the holiday season. First, try to avoid triggers that may cause you to feel sad or upset. Triggers can be anything from certain songs or smells, to seeing certain people or places. If you know there will be triggers at holiday gatherings, try to arrive late or leave early if possible. You can also try to create new traditions that don't involve the triggers.
Yes, we provide supportive counseling for family members who are struggling with the loss of a loved one. Our compassionate therapists can help you gain insight into your feelings and provide constructive strategies to cope with the pain of bereavement.
Grief can seem worse in the morning as the reality of the loss is often one of the first thoughts upon waking. This can be particularly true if you shared many mornings with the person who has passed away during wonderful years spent together.
There are a few things you should avoid saying to someone who is grieving, as they can come across as insensitive or unhelpful. For example, don't tell them that it's "time to move on" or that they "should be over it by now." It's also best not to make any assumptions about how they're feeling or what they need – instead, ask them directly how you can help.
