Most children view pets as more than just animals: they are considered the best of friends and members of the family. Unfortunately, just as owning a pet...
Most children view pets as more than just animals: they are considered the best of friends and members of the family.
Unfortunately, just as owning a pet can cause great joy for children, losing one, whether because of an accident, sickness, or age, can cause great sadness.
Experiencing such loss can be confusing and painful for kids, and they will need lots of support to cope with their loss and grieve properly.
Here are five ways to help kids grieve after losing a pet.
One of the challenging parts of losing a pet is sharing the news with children when you're grieving yourself.
However, you must share the news carefully, as your mannerisms and words can influence how the child will react and grieve.
Also, you can provide grief support to a child by helping them cope with emotions.
Grief introduces new and unfamiliar emotions to children, which they may find difficult to understand and cope with.
As a caregiver/ parent, it's your duty to help them learn how to express themselves and manage their emotions.
Continue this overview to learn ways to help kids grieve after losing a pet:
Losing a pet is difficult, but breaking the bad news to others, especially children, can be taxing.
Nonetheless, sharing the news early and carefully will help kids grieve after losing a pet.
Try to have a one-on-one conversation about the death of your pets with the kids in a comfortable place.
As you would any difficult topic, gauge the amount of information your kid will understand depending on their age, maturity, and past experiences before addressing the issue.
Also, allowing your child to react in their own way is essential.
While it can be painful for you, keeping calm and collected while breaking the news is necessary, as children are likely to mimic behaviors.
Showing signs of anxiety, confusion, and disorientation will make it more difficult for your child.
Similarly, you must avoid saying words like "went to sleep" or "resting," as children tend to take words literally.
If you had to euthanize your pet, consider the child's maturity, age, and level of understanding, before giving any information.
Ensure to speak calmly and explain what happened briefly.
Lying about the death of a pet to protect children from grief can be tempting.
It might seem easier to lie that the pet ran away or went on a trip; however, this is not a good idea.
Loss is loss, so lying won't eradicate the pain of losing a pet; it only deprives them of the opportunity to grieve their loss.
Thus to help kids grieve wholly, you must be honest.
Younger kids might not be able to understand the concept of death fully.
Caregivers can help by discussing drying, death, and grief in the simplest terms with the child.
Again, avoid euphemisms like "sleeping " or "resting" as they can induce fear and confuse the child.
Likewise, children will likely have several questions regarding the pet's death, especially if they have not experienced loss before.
When they do, be open and honest.
They might ask about the circumstances of the death and the afterlife of the lost pet.
Do your best to explain to the child in simple, age-appropriate terms while leaving out details that may be traumatizing.
For instance, if the pet died from an accident, you do not have to discuss details with the child.
Children might experience many unfamiliar emotions after losing a pet.
Like anyone experiencing loss, kids can feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, fear, and so on, after the death of a pet.
As a parent/caregiver, you can help kids grieve after losing a pet by helping them cope with emotions.
Assist your grieving child in understanding that it is normal to feel various emotions after dealing with loss.
You can ask your child how they feel from time to time and reassure them that their feelings are all valid.
Likewise, don't feel compelled to pretend or hide your feelings about losing a pet.
Expressing how you feel openly sets an excellent example for your kid.
Kids should know it's okay to feel sad, to share their feelings, and to cry whenever they feel like it after losing a loved one.
You can provide comfort by sharing stories of pets you had and lost at a younger age and how difficult it was to let them go.
After losing a loved one, some children may want to talk to others immediately or not.
As a caregiver/parent, you must reassure your child that they can talk to you and that you will always be available to listen.
Providing listening ears can help kids grieve after losing a pet.
When your child opens up to you about their feelings of loss, it is essential to pay attention and allow them to express themselves without interruption or judgment.
Telling a child to "let it go" or "stop bringing up the pet" can derail their grieving process and lead to unresolved grief that can cause bigger problems as they grow.
Listen actively and maintain a reassuring expression and body language so your child feels comfortable and safe sharing their feelings.
Children might stutter, repeat, or utter incoherent words, especially when overwhelmed, so be patient.
At the end of each conversation, offer hugs, pats, and forehead kisses to reassure them it's okay.
Let your child know that though their emotions are difficult now, they will surely get better as time passes.
Honoring your lost pet is an expression of grief and often times it helps to facilitate healing.
Creating opportunities to memorialize and honor their lost loved one can help kids grieve after losing a pet.
For one, you can involve kids in the burying process.
You might allow them to choose whether to hold a burial service and whether to cremate or bury.
You can encourage the kids to write letters, draw or choose an item that will be buried alongside the lost pet.
Also, you can help kids make memorials for their pets in several special ways, such as planting a tree, lighting a candle, writing an obituary, creating a scrapbook of their favorite memories, or framing photos of the deceased pets.
It can also help to hold an occasional ceremony in honor of the deceased pet.
Family members can gather together to share fun memories and moments they had with the deceased pets.
This is a special way of remembering your pet and grieving with others dealing with the same loss.
Saying goodbye to pets forever can be one of the most difficult experiences a child can go through.
During this challenging time, parents/caregivers need to provide adequate grief support and help kids heal from feelings of loss.
You can help kids grieve after losing a pet by sharing the news carefully, being honest, helping them cope with emotions, being available to listen, and honoring the memories of your pet.
https://www.wikihow.com/Help-Your-Child-When-a-Pet-Dies
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/allthemoms/parenting/2017/09/18/pet-loss-child-grief/34914811/
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/pet-death.html
https://magazine.vetmed.ucdavis.edu/fall-2021-news-articles/helping-kids-cope-pet-loss
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
It is completely normal to feel dread or even fear when thinking about the upcoming holiday season. One way to ease your anxiety is by planning ahead and being prepared for how you will deal with tough moments. If there are certain events you know will be difficult, try to come up with an exit strategy beforehand so you can leave if needed. It can also be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor before the holidays to help you manage your expectations and emotions.
Ignoring grief can exacerbate symptoms and make it more challenging to manage over time. This can result in a negative impact on your personal, professional, and social life, leading to feelings of isolation, chronic sadness, and even physical health complications.
Grief can be particularly intense in the early days following a loss. However, it's not uncommon for grief to become more pronounced at certain times, like at night or in the morning. This can be due to the mind being busy processing the events that happened.
It's important to remember that you are allowed to grieve however you need to, and that doesn't mean you have to ruin the holidays for everyone else. If you need to take a break from holiday festivities, do so. Go for a walk, take a nap, watch a movie—whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. You can also try talking to your family about your grief ahead of time and asking for their understanding and support.
Grief may feel worse at night because sleep disturbances are common during the grieving process. As nighttime falls, distractions diminish and we're left alone with our thoughts, which can make the loss feel overwhelming.
The stages of grief, according to the Kübler-Ross model, include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, it's important to note that not everyone will experience all these stages, or in this order. Grief is a highly individual process.
