Experiencing loss in childhood is a traumatic experience. Like most adults, children often have unique grief reactions...
Experiencing loss in childhood is a traumatic experience. Like most adults, children often have unique grief reactions depending on their age, gender, personality, family circumstances, developmental stage, support level, and many other factors. Grief affects children in various ways; here are a few. For one, grief cause makes a child develop sudden curiosity about the lost loved one, the circumstances of their death, and what happens next. A grieving child will likely ask multiple questions out of worry, fear, or curiosity. Also, grief can affect children's academic functioning.
After a significant loss, some children may find it challenging to concentrate, find motivation and cope with the academic and social struggles of being a student. The school environment can quickly become overwhelming, making it harder to focus on either their education or grief. Similarly, grief can cause an increased risk of developmental problems for children. Younger children may become susceptible to temporary regression, and older children may lose life coping skills such as social skills or decision-making skills. It is thus vital for caregivers/parents to provide the proper grief support a child needs in their healing journey. Continue this overview to learn five ways grief affects children.
Grieving children are likely to develop curiosity about death, mortality, spirituality, and dying. Grief affects children by developing their curiosity and making them suddenly question things they once overlooked. Depending on the child's age, they might ask generic questions or demand specific answers to some issues. It is essential to answer all questions honestly while showing compassion and care for them. However, you should also adapt your responses considering the child's age, experiences, and beliefs. Also, to ensure you answer the child's questions in the best way possible, you can ask the child questions about their thoughts. Doing this allows you to gauge the child's understanding, understand the intention behind their question, and know their emotional state. In addition, it's okay to know only some of the answers. You can provide support, reassurance, and care instead. Remember, your words can affect how the child grieves, so only give answers you are certain about.
Grief affects children and makes it difficult to perform as they used to in certain aspects of their life, including academics. For many children, grief has a profound effect on learning ability, motivation, concentration, and by extension, academic functioning. Good students may lack the motivation to continue studying, eventually letting their grades slip. Students who already had learning struggles before their loss may see their problems worsen. Likewise, some children may lose interest in attending classes. Upright students may start to break school rules. Social students may begin to withdraw and isolate themselves from friends, and introverted students may easily fall into depression. The impact grief has on a child's education is immense. It can negatively impact a child's academic development and make them vulnerable to short-term and long-term mental health complications such as intense anxiety or depression.
Many children often show changes in behaviors after experiencing a significant loss. Grief affects children emotionally and mentally and leads to several behavioral problems that weren't in existence before. For instance, younger children may develop clinginess and act younger than their age. Even when they don't fully understand the loss, they often notice the distress in their parents/caregivers, so they may react by seeking attention, refusing to eat, crying more, or being irritable. Also, older children may be drawn to bad behaviors such as taking drugs, aggression, defiance, bullying, acting out, breaking school rules, or talking back at home. Similarly, a grieving child may display changes in attitude towards their likes and hobbies, especially when they partook in those hobbies with the lost loved one. They may lose interest in pursuing their goals, develop low self-confidence, and lack the motivation to do things as they used to. Given these adverse effects associated with grief, it's imperative that grieving children get proper support to grieve in a healthy way.
One of the ways grief affects children is by causing developmental problems and regression in previously reached milestones. Because children are in their formative years, traumatic events like the death of a loved one can have a negative impact on their cognitive, mental, and social development. For instance, toddlers and preschoolers might revert to bed wetting, crawling, or refusing to sleep at night. Likewise, grieving children can develop cognitive manifestations of grief, such as mental confusion, talking to the lost loved one, daydreaming, etc. Cognitive behavioral therapy is an effective strategy to help grieving children experiencing cognitive manifestations of grief. In addition, research suggests that children experiencing grief have a higher risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder and experiencing profound emotional reactions like depression, suicidal thoughts, and chronic fatigue than non-grieving children. Similarly, grief can affect a child's social development by causing them to withdraw from others, isolate, set unrealistic expectations of others, and have difficulty maintaining friendships. With the right support, however, children are often able to heal gradually and regain lost social skills.
Often grief affects children's sleeping and eating habits. Excess sleep, or lack of it, is a common reaction to grief, and children are not exempted. Children experiencing symptoms of grief are more likely to develop sleeping or eating disorders or even both. Factors that cause children's sleeping problems may include nightmares, losing a bedtime partner, nighttime rumination, or fear. Not only do these factors disrupt sleep, but they can also make the grieving process complicated. Similarly, grief can disrupt a child's eating habits and lead to potential problems. While some adolescents may reach out for junk and sugary foods, others may lose their appetite and refuse to eat. However, diet plays a crucial role in coping with grief, and if care is not taken, a poor diet can lead to complicated grief, eating disorders, extreme weight gain/loss, poor self-esteem, and health problems. Thus, it is essential for caretakers to pay special attention to a grieving child's eating and sleeping habits, as they are important to the healing journey.
Coping with the loss of a loved one is difficult, and for children, it can affect their life in several ways. After a significant loss, children are suddenly exposed to intense and unfamiliar emotions of grief which can be difficult for them to cope with. As a parent/caregiver, it is important to provide grief support, teach coping skills, and assist the child in healthily grieving their loss. Ways in which grief affects children include increasing curiosity, decreasing academic functioning, causing behavioral changes, increasing the risk of developmental problems, and prompting eating or sleeping disorders.
https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/bereavement-reactions-children-young-people-age-group
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.
It's important to remember that you are allowed to grieve however you need to, and that doesn't mean you have to ruin the holidays for everyone else. If you need to take a break from holiday festivities, do so. Go for a walk, take a nap, watch a movie—whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. You can also try talking to your family about your grief ahead of time and asking for their understanding and support.
We offer a variety of specialized services, including individual therapy, group therapy, and various therapeutic approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or psychodynamic therapy.
It can be difficult to know what to say to someone who is grieving, but sometimes simply being there for them and offering your support can be helpful. You might try saying something like, "I'm here for you if you need to talk" or "I'm sorry for your loss." You could also offer to help with practical tasks such as running errands or cooking meals.
Grief can be particularly intense in the early days following a loss. However, it's not uncommon for grief to become more pronounced at certain times, like at night or in the morning. This can be due to the mind being busy processing the events that happened.
Grief can seem worse in the morning as the reality of the loss is often one of the first thoughts upon waking. This can be particularly true if you shared many mornings with the person who has passed away during wonderful years spent together.
Complicated grief, also known as prolonged grief disorder, is when intense grief symptoms continue for an extended period, often longer than six months. This type of grief can result in difficulty resuming normal life activities and can lead to sleep problems.
