5 Tips for Bereaved People to Find Closure

Grief
March 26, 2025

With grief, there is no point at which you will never cry again, although as time goes on, the tears are bittersweet and less common.

Losing someone or something you care about is one of life's greatest challenges.

It is an even harder challenge without grief support.

This is why finding closure is an important part of a journey through grief.

By closure, we don't mean you stop feeling any form of sorrow or pain; closure means living through grief.

It is a point of acceptance that the deceased is gone but not forgotten.

By giving yourself time to mourn, you are giving yourself the time to accept the loss.

From that point, you are gradually finding closure.

One can never go wrong with therapy.

There are different forms or types of therapy that can help you find closure.

It all depends on finding which one suits you best.

Also, holding a memorial service is a step toward finding closure.

It not only helps you celebrate the life of the deceased but also allows you to reflect on their life and death.

Below you can see more details on tips for bereaved people to find closure.

Allow Time to Mourn

Give yourself time to mourn your loss and adjust to the changes that have occurred in your life.

After suffering a loss, it's important not to rush through the grieving process.

It may take a while before you feel ready to find closure after the death of a loved one.

Just because some people may have moved through grief more quickly than others doesn't mean your own process is sluggish or accelerated.

Don't let other people dictate your emotions.

Some people may try to counsel you to stop thinking about what happened or to stop being sad.

People who try to comfort you out of a sense of altruism are really just awkward around your feelings.

It is not their responsibility to ease your discomfort with your feelings.

It's okay to take as much time as you need to figure out what you're feeling.

This is a step towards finding closure.

An old man bowing his head in grief.

Hold a Memorial Service

Some people find closure after the death of a loved one through funerals and memorial services; however, it may not be the case for everyone.

One of the most helpful ways you can help yourself and others during the grieving process is to give or hear a eulogy honoring the life of your deceased loved one.

Attending a memorial service for a deceased loved one can help you come to terms with their death.

By performing a funeral, it becomes more real that they are no longer present in this world.

However, for some people, the mourning process does not begin until after the funeral or memorial service.

It's the first day of their new life without their family and friends. It's also the first step in accepting and dealing with their loss.

A candle memorial service.

Find Forgiveness

Holding onto your feelings of resentment and anger can lead to serious problems in your personal and professional relationships.

Find new ways of looking at things if you're having trouble forgiving someone that may or may not have caused the death of your loved one.

Before asking what you might have done better, consider what you did accomplish and give yourself credit for that.

Find a way to move on from the events leading up to your loved one's death and accept that you can't change the outcome if someone else was at fault.

Holding on and not letting go will leave you going on and on in circles and finding no closure. 

Try Therapy

Some other tips for bereaved people to find closure include

seeking outside support to help.

Recovering from the death of someone is a process that takes time and can benefit from therapeutic intervention.

Counselors, therapists, and support groups are all resources you can turn to when dealing with grief.

Seeking professional help through therapy can be a good first step towards finding closure and moving on with life.

Therapy or counseling for grief can help the person deal with their feelings and begin the healing process.

At any time, you can access high-quality help from any location, thanks to the abundance of available online therapy and counseling services.

Reconcile Your Grief

Another example of tips for bereaved people to find closure includes reconciling their grief.

To move past our sorrow, we must accept the truth that we must go on living without the deceased.

Finding closure means living, even thriving, rather than merely existing. In most cases, you'll need a few months to a few years of dedicated effort to get there.

You slowly start to see a life that is different from what you had planned, a life in which you can grieve the loss of your old self while honoring the memories you've made of it.

It's important to remember that the adage "time heals all wounds" is just a cliche.

Grief, in fact, respects neither the passage of time nor its reception.

With reconciliation comes a reignited sense of vitality and self-assurance, as well as the ability to reengage in day-to-day life.

Additionally, it is acknowledged that pain and sorrow are difficult yet necessary components of life.

Reconciliation forces you to face the reality that your life is and will remain radically altered in the absence of the deceased.

When you internalize the finality of the loss, you can begin to make peace with your grief.

Conclusion

There is no predetermined point after which you will no longer miss a deceased loved one.

Knowing even the most fundamental facts about the grieving process can make a significant difference in your ability to assist others and yourself in recovering from loss.

There are certain losses with which you will eventually learn to cope and move on, but which will remain a part of your life forever.

Accepting that death is unavoidable and that you must move on with your life, rather than clinging to the past, is an essential component of finding closure.

Finding closure is possible once you begin to accept the loss and receive the necessary grief support.

Some tips for bereaved people to find closure include: allowing time to mourn, holding a memorial service, finding forgiveness, trying therapy, and reconciling your grief. 

Resources 

https://www.allcaliforniacremation.com/articles/importance-of-closure-moving-on-after-death-of-loved-one

https://www.joincake.com/blog/closure-after-death/

https://www.brunswickmemorialhome.com/get-closure-death/

https://chopra.com/articles/8-ways-to-heal-your-soul-after-a-loss

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/coping-grief.html

https://www.taps.org/articles/25-2/grief-and-closure

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Grief

What are some things I can do to heal from my grief during the holidays?

There are a few things you can do to help ease your pain during the holiday season. First, try to avoid triggers that may cause you to feel sad or upset. Triggers can be anything from certain songs or smells, to seeing certain people or places. If you know there will be triggers at holiday gatherings, try to arrive late or leave early if possible. You can also try to create new traditions that don't involve the triggers.

Why is grief worse at night?

Grief may feel worse at night because sleep disturbances are common during the grieving process. As nighttime falls, distractions diminish and we're left alone with our thoughts, which can make the loss feel overwhelming.

What is complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder?

Complicated grief, also known as prolonged grief disorder, is when intense grief symptoms continue for an extended period, often longer than six months. This type of grief can result in difficulty resuming normal life activities and can lead to sleep problems.

What type of grief counseling is available in Colorado Springs?

We offer a variety of specialized services, including individual therapy, group therapy, and various therapeutic approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or psychodynamic therapy.

How long does grief usually last in the elderly?

There is no "right" or "wrong" answer when it comes to how long grief will last in the elderly. For some people, the grieving process may last for several months or even years. For others, it may come in waves – they may have periods of intense grief followed by periods of relative calm. It's important to remember that everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace.

I'm dreading the holidays because I know they will be so hard without my loved one. How can I get through them?

It is completely normal to feel dread or even fear when thinking about the upcoming holiday season. One way to ease your anxiety is by planning ahead and being prepared for how you will deal with tough moments. If there are certain events you know will be difficult, try to come up with an exit strategy beforehand so you can leave if needed. It can also be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor before the holidays to help you manage your expectations and emotions.