The Effects of Growing Up With Narcissistic Parents

Do you ever feel like you're not good enough? That no matter what you do, you can't please your parents?...

Do you ever feel like you're not good enough? That no matter what you do, you can't please your parents? If so, you may be one of the millions of people who grew up with narcissistic parents. Narcissistic parents are those who have an inflated sense of self-importance and require excessive admiration from their children. They often make their children feel like they are never good enough and that they need to constantly impress their parents. This can lead to a lot of emotional damage in childhood and adolescence. In this blog post, we will discuss the effects of growing up with narcissistic parents and offer some advice for dealing with them.

1). Children of Narcissistic Parents Often Struggle with Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Self-Worth

Children of narcissistic parents often grow up feeling invisible. Their parents are focused on their own needs and wants, and they rarely take the time to truly see their children. As a result, these children often struggle with low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth. They may have difficulty forming healthy relationships, and they may find it difficult to assert themselves. In therapy, these individuals can need help to understand the root of their issues and to learn how to develop a stronger sense of self. Often, this process begins with learning how to set boundaries and value themselves. With time and guidance, these individuals can begin to rebuild their lives and create healthy, meaningful relationships.

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2). They Often Have Difficulty Trusting Others and Forming Healthy Relationships

This is because they have learned that people are not to be trusted and that relationships are only valuable if they serve a purpose. As a result, they may find themselves feeling isolated and alone. They may also have trouble maintaining healthy boundaries in their relationships. Narcissism often leads to a sense of entitlement, which can make it difficult for children of narcissists to empathize with others. They may also struggle with self-esteem issues and perfectionism. If you grew up with a narcissist, you may benefit from therapy. Therapy can help you to understand your childhood experiences and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

3). They May be Perfectionists and Have a Hard Time Accepting Compliments

Children of narcissistic parents often grow up to be perfectionists. They've been taught that only the best is good enough and that anything less is a failure. As a result, they're often hard on themselves and have a difficult time accepting compliments. They may also struggle with anxiety and insecurity because they're constantly worried about not measuring up. Narcissistic parents can be incredibly demanding, and their children never feel like they can do anything right. This can lead to a lifetime of feeling inadequate and unworthy. They are often very sensitive to criticism and can be easily defensive.

4). They May Find it Difficult to Express their Emotions and May Struggle with Intimacy

Narcissistic parents often have difficulty empathizing with their children. As a result, their children may find it difficult to express their own emotions. They may also struggle with intimacy because they never learned how to close off parts of themselves to be close to someone else. Instead, they may feel like they have to give all of themselves in order to be loved. This can be exhausting and frustrating, leading to further emotional difficulties.

a frowny face on a square

5). They May be Chronic Worriers and Have Difficulty Setting Boundaries

If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, you may have experienced a childhood that was anything but warm and loving.Your parent may have been overly critical, always putting you down in an attempt to make themselves feel better. Or, they may have been excessively demanding, never giving you the chance to just be a kid. As a result of your upbringing, you may now find yourself struggling with anxiety and chronic worrying. You may also have difficulty setting boundaries with others, as you never learned how to do so growing up. These are all common issues that children of narcissistic parents face. Thankfully, there is help available. With the right support, you can learn to overcome the challenges of your past and live a happy and fulfilling life.

6). They Often Feel Responsible for Their Parents' Happiness and Wellbeing

Many children of narcissistic parents often feel responsible for their parent's happiness and wellbeing. This can be a result of the parent making the child feel like they are the center of their world and that their happiness hinges on the child's compliance. This can be a very heavy burden for a child to bear and can lead to a lifetime of feeling like they are not good enough. The child may constantly try to please the parent in order to receive love and approval, but it is never enough. The narcissist will often manipulate and play mind games with the child in order to keep them under control. This can be extremely damaging to the child's self-esteem and sense of self-worth. If you are the child of a narcissist, it is important to seek help from a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with these feelings. You are not responsible for your parent's happiness, and you are not to blame for their Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Disclaimer

The information in this article is meant to be used for informational purposes only. Please do not use it as a substitute for medical advice from licensed professionals.

Conclusion

Growing up with narcissistic parents can be a difficult and painful experience. If you are the child of a narcissist, it is important to seek help from a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with the challenges you face. You are not responsible for your parent's happiness, and you are not to blame for their Narcissistic Personality Disorder. With the right support, you can learn to overcome the challenges of your past and live a happy and fulfilling life.

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Narcissistic Personality

Do all narcissists tend to cheat in relationships?

Not all narcissists cheat in relationships. While many do exhibit traits such as an inflated ego and poor impulse control, not every individual with narcissistic traits will engage in infidelity. It's important to remember that narcissism is a spectrum, and behavior can vary greatly among individuals.

What are the effects?

It can have a devastating effect on the victim. It can cause them to doubt themselves, their worthiness, and their sanity. They may feel like they are never good enough and that they will never be loved. This can lead to a spiraling of negative emotions such as shame, guilt, and self-loathing. The victim may also develop anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

What is the narcissistic abuse cycle?

It is a pattern of behavior that is often seen in relationships where one person has a narcissistic personality disorder. It typically consists of four phases: idealization, devaluation, discarding, and hoovering.

What is causing narcissistic injury and how does it relate to a narcissist ignoring you?

Causing narcissistic injury means hurting a narcissist's ego or self-importance. Even the smallest mistake or criticism can cause this injury. When injured, a narcissist might ignore the person who caused the injury to protect their inflated self-image...

What are the different types of narcissists?

There are many different kinds of narcissists, but the six main types are The Narcissistic Victim, The Covert Narcissist, The Malignant Narcissist, The Exhibitionist Narcissist, The Somatic or Cerebral Narcissist, and The Toxic Parent.

How do I deal with a narcissistic sibling?

Dealing with a narcissistic sibling can be challenging. Setting healthy boundaries is essential to protect your self-esteem and mental health. Don't feed into their need for attention and avoid engaging in their manipulation tactics. It's also beneficial to seek professional help to navigate these complex family relationships.