How To Survive Narcissistic Parents

Growing up with narcissistic parents can be very overwhelming for anyone...

Growing up with narcissistic parents can be very overwhelming for anyone. Parents are supposed to be there to nurture and guide their children as they grow older, but with narcissistic parents, there can be a drastic difference. In most cases, they are often self-absorbed and can also manipulate their children for their own needs. It is obvious that growing up in such an environment can be emotionally and mentally draining. However, with the right mindset, methods, and support for narcissism, it is possible to survive narcissistic parents and lead a fulfilling life. Accepting that that is how they are is the first step toward surviving narcissistic parents. Narcissistic parents can cause emotional damage to their children, leading many of them to believe that they are responsible for their parent's behavior.

This is, in fact, not true. Also, having a support system can be really useful when you are trying to survive narcissistic parents. A support system can give you the strength and support to deal with living with or having narcissistic parents. Getting help from professional therapists or counselors can help you survive narcissistic parents. These types of mental health professionals can help you understand how their narcissistic traits affect you and help you navigate breaking the cycle. Below are more details on how to survive narcissistic parents.

Acceptance

Accepting their reality, which may initially seem challenging, is one of the first stages of surviving narcissistic parents. You must recognize this because it will help you understand that you have no influence over their behavior. Once you finally accept them for who they are, it becomes easier to let go of whatever expectations you may have had and focus on your coping strategies. Mental health doctors have also confirmed that it will help victims cope with their anxiety. It will help you realize that any harsh remarks or accusations from them are projections and have nothing to do with your character. Narcissistic parents often blame their children for their own flaws, which can result in emotions of guilt and shame in their children. Such projections are how narcissists feel about themselves. People with narcissistic personality disorder are dealing with a serious personality disorder, and understanding this will help you to be more self-compassionate when they lash out at you. Accepting that their actions do not represent your worth can help you develop self-esteem and self-worth.

Old parents walking down a road.

Practice Self-Compassion

Dealing with narcissistic parents can lead to a cycle of self-criticism and self-blame. People who had difficult childhoods where they didn't experience any feelings of empathy often find it difficult to practice self-compassion; however, it is still achievable. You can start healing and loving yourself more by learning to self-soothe and give yourself the compassion you may not have gotten from your parents. Practicing self-compassion involves showing yourself kindness and understanding, especially during difficult times. Developing self-compassion can help you develop resilience and a positive perspective toward life. Most times, children raised by narcissistic parents tend to prioritize their parents' needs over their own, leading to a harmful cycle where the child carries this behavior into adulthood. It is essential for you to understand that prioritizing your own needs and giving yourself enough time to heal from your childhood experiences is very okay.

Find a Support System You Can Rely On

Everyone needs a support system, even more so for children of narcissistic parents. Having narcissistic parents can be isolating, which is why it's important to have people in your life who understand what you're going through. Your support circle can include friends, family members, or a therapist. A support system can help you feel loved, and it provides a space to share your feelings and receive validation that you probably never get from narcissistic parents. It can also help you feel less alone and more connected to those around you. It can also be very beneficial to have support networks that include other survivors of narcissistic abuse. This can help you navigate any difficulties while gaining support and encouragement from those who understand your experience.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Narcissistic parents usually have a way of crossing boundaries and invading their children's personal space. There are instances where they intentionally test your boundaries to see if they can get away with it. This will no doubt be an immensely frustrating experience, especially because it may seem like they have no regard for you and how you feel about certain things. As a result, setting boundaries and enforcing them is very important. Setting boundaries means identifying your limits and communicating these feelings to your parents. For instance, this could mean saying "no" to their demands and limiting the amount of time you spend with them. Setting healthy boundaries can help you get back control over your life and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. In the event that they cross your stipulated boundaries, always remember that you must follow through on any consequences when those boundaries get violated. Always be very clear and firm about what you will not accept, and you may need to tell them to leave if they keep up with their bad behavior.

Get Professional Help

Growing up with narcissistic parents can cause many complications in later life. This can arise from the accumulation of childhood experiences that were never dealt with. The reality is that dealing with narcissistic parents can be overwhelming, and it's okay to seek out professional support. A therapist or counselor is better equipped to provide you with tools and techniques to help you manage your feelings and develop coping strategies. They can also offer you a safe and supportive environment to explore your feelings and work through any trauma you may have experienced.

Conclusion

Surviving narcissistic parents is a process that requires patience, resilience, and a willingness to seek help. Remember that there is support for narcissism available to you and the parent in question. You can survive narcissistic parents by accepting your reality, practicing self-compassion, finding a support system you can rely on, setting healthy boundaries, and getting professional help.

Resources

https://www.caminorecovery.com/blog/seven-ways-to-survive-a-narcissistic-parent/

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/narcissistic-mother

https://www.parentingforbrain.com/narcissistic-parents/

https://cbtpsychology.com/survive-narcissistic-father/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/dealing-with-a-narcissistic-mother

https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2016/07/7-steps-in-healing-from-a-narcissistic-parent#1

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Narcissistic Personality

How does narcissism differ in men and women?

While both male and female narcissists exhibit similar traits like a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy and need for admiration, there can be differences. Female narcissists, for instance, might use their relationships with other women to bolster their self-esteem or manipulate for personal gain. Male narcissists, on the other hand, may be more prone to showcase their narcissism through their professional achievements or financial success.

What are some common narcissistic traits?

Common narcissistic traits include self-importance grandiosity, self-indulgences that they imagine unlimited success and a belief that they are "special" and unique. They often require excessive admiration and have a sense of entitlement. These traits can be particularly damaging in sibling relationships.

What are the effects?

It can have a devastating effect on the victim. It can cause them to doubt themselves, their worthiness, and their sanity. They may feel like they are never good enough and that they will never be loved. This can lead to a spiraling of negative emotions such as shame, guilt, and self-loathing. The victim may also develop anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Can a narcissist feel remorse after cheating?

While it's possible for a narcissist to feel remorse, it's not typically associated with their behavior. Due to their inflated sense of self and lack of empathy, narcissists may not feel guilty after cheating. Instead, they might use manipulation tactics, or other forms of narcissistic abuse, to justify their actions or shift the blame onto others.

What does narcissistic supply refer to and why does it matter if a narcissist ignores you?

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention and admiration that narcissists crave. If a narcissist is ignoring you, it could mean they're not getting their desired narcissistic supply from you, so they resort to emotional abuse like completely ignoring to manipulate you into giving them more attention.

How prevalent is narcissism in women?