5 Doubts Narcissistic People Have

Doubt is the lack of confidence or uncertainty about one's abilities or actions...

Doubt is the lack of confidence or uncertainty about one's abilities or actions. Narcissistic people also have doubts about their abilities, behaviors, and actions. This makes them second-guess themselves at every opportunity. One of the major doubts narcissistic people have is confidence in their abilities. Narcissistic people also doubt whether people would love them for who they are. Another doubt people have when diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder is that they would be seen as weak or imperfect by the people around them. Doubts about how to cope with their feelings and emotions often surface occasionally. This makes it difficult for them to get or receive support for narcissism. They could also experience doubts that they won't determine their meaning and purpose as individuals. Below are 5 doubts narcissistic people have about themselves.

They Are Not Good Enough

Although narcissistic people always feel superior to other people and have an inflated sense of importance, they battle with severe low-esteem issues and insecurities. This makes them have doubts about their abilities. This doubt is coupled with feelings of inadequacy that severely affect their relationships. Doubts about their abilities make them sensitive to criticism. They also go to great lengths to strengthen their ego or sense of superiority. This doubt extends to how they feel people think about them. They might feel like they are not accepted, or they don't deserve love. Their insecurities prevent them from putting themselves out there or celebrating their wins and achievements. This could have a long-term impact on their work and relationships. Feeling like they are not good enough and other doubts narcissistic people have can prevent their career growth or feelings that they are not worthy of love. And rather than take healthy steps to build their confidence, they would develop strong defense mechanisms to build and protect their shiny image and look self-assured.

A man doubting what he's seeing on the laptop screen.

Abandonment

Narcissistic people love and relish attention from people. This need for attention usually makes them feel like they're not enough, leading to feelings of insecurity. It also makes them rely on external validation. Neglect is a significant cause of the doubts narcissistic people have about people leaving them. Children who are neglected tend to develop narcissistic traits. The neglect could be from when they were younger or rejected by family members and partners. When they don't receive support, love, and attention as kids, it can have a lasting impact on them when they are older. They find it difficult to form healthy relationships because they always doubt that the people in their lives will not stay. They overcompensate by constantly seeking attention, admiration, love, and friendship to heal their inner child. One of the biggest fears of a narcissist is that their support network (supply) will dry up. They keep various sources engaged for when they need to refuel. If you are one of the primary fuel sources for a narcissist, they want to ensure you remain in your place. This makes them clingy, and finds it difficult to end relationships in a healthy manner.

Seen as Weak or Imperfect

One personality trait narcissistic people have is that they always feel unique and superior. At the same time, they are frightened and fragile people. Their defense mechanisms help to mask the doubts of being seen as weak or imperfect. They can also go to great lengths to portray themselves as special or unique, demanding attention and admiration. However, their ego may be bruised when they don't get their desired admiration. A call to be held accountable for their actions is also seen as criticism and doubts of their superiority and is usually dismissed. Rather than see it as an opportunity to be accountable, they'd think people would see them as weak or imperfect. Since they always want to appear competent to others and have a strong need to appear strong and capable, it makes it hard for them to be vulnerable. When they genuinely need help, or there is an opportunity for improvement, they would rather act superior so they won't be seen as weak or imperfect. This makes it difficult for them to form genuine and meaningful connections with people.

Dealing With Their Feelings

Difficulties in recognizing and coping with their feelings are one of the doubts narcissistic people have. They also feel like they cannot control their emotions and cannot cope. This makes them feel vulnerable and have feelings of uncertainty. Due to these difficulties, many people with narcissistic personality disorder turn to unhealthy behaviors. They fail to seek healthy ways to cope with their feelings. They might engage in self-injury, suicidal thoughts, lash out against loved ones, quit their jobs, or end relationships abruptly. This difficulty in dealing with their feelings could also lead to feelings of insecurity. They may also have feelings of rejection. Their fear of rejection often reflects their insecurity and inability to connect with others emotionally. This could make them manipulative or controlling. To resolve this doubt, you must identify and understand your feelings first, cope with them, and communicate how you feel effectively with the people around you.

Meaning and Purpose of Their Lives

Lastly, one of the significant doubts narcissistic people have is their life's meaning and purpose. Since they're unable to find meaning or purpose in their lives, they usually experience some sort of existential crisis, a sense of emptiness, and a lack of direction, which leads to feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. They might overcompensate by seeking external admiration or displaying an inflated sense of self-importance. However, these are only masks for their doubts. To overcome these doubts, they need to overcome their insecurities by developing themselves and developing meaningful relationships. This would help them build a healthier and more fulfilling sense of self. This can be challenging, but with tenacity, support, and time, they can find their life meaning and purpose.

Conclusion

Narcissistic people need to seek therapy for narcissism when they experience doubts. Lack of confidence in their abilities, fear of abandonment, being seen as weak or imperfect, inability to cope with their feelings, and lack of meaning and purpose in their lives are doubts narcissistic people have.

Resources

https://psychcentral.com/blog/discoveries/2018/05/narcissists-7-weaknesses-reveal#3

https://psychcentral.com/blog/narcissism-decoded/2017/06/narcissists-greatest-fear#6

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/the-insecurity-behind-narcissistic-personality-npd-explained-1107194#:~:text=Many%20people%20with%20narcissism%20struggle,they%20present%20to%20the%20world

https://www.happierhuman.com/narcissists-insecure/#:~:text=Narcissists%20are%20insecure%20because%20they,of%20their%20own%20self%2Dimportance

https://www.movingforwardafterabuse.com/self-doubt/

Author
Jennifer Luttman, LPC, ACS

I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, and owner of Overcomers Counseling. I'm dedicated to helping individuals find strength and healing through life’s challenges. With a deep understanding of mental health and years of professional experience, I specialize in fostering hope and resilience while equipping her clients with tools to thrive. Passionate about empowering others, she creates a safe, supportive space where everyone feels seen, valued, and capable of overcoming obstacles on their path to well-being.

Common Questions about Narcissistic Personality

What is a cheating narcissist?

A cheating narcissist is an individual who possesses narcissistic traits and engages in infidelity. They often display an inflated sense of self-importance, poor impulse control, and use manipulation tactics to maintain relationships while pursuing other romantic or sexual interests.

What is the impact of narcissistic abuse?

Narcissistic abuse can have a significant impact on a person's mental health, often leading to issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Victims may feel constantly belittled, manipulated, and unvalued.

How does a narcissist's sense of self-importance influence their behavior?

A narcissist's sense of self-importance often results in narcissistic behavior like ignoring others. If they feel someone isn't meeting their own needs or serving their interests, they might start ignoring that person.

How does poor impulse control relate to narcissism and cheating?

Poor impulse control is a common trait among narcissists. This can manifest as a tendency to act on whims or desires without considering the potential consequences. In the context of a relationship, this may lead to infidelity if the narcissist is attracted to someone else.

Can I maintain a healthy romantic relationship with a narcissistic woman?

Narcissists often engage in manipulative behaviors to maintain control and may show little consideration for their partner's feelings. If you're in a romantic relationship with a narcissistic woman, consider seeking professional advice. A mental health professional can provide guidance on how to navigate such a relationship and help determine whether it's possible to establish a healthier dynamic.

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with a narcissistic woman?

Having a relationship with a narcissistic woman can be challenging due to their self-centered behaviors and lack of empathy. However, understanding the nature of the disorder and setting boundaries can help manage the relationship. It's also recommended to seek professional mental health support if needed.