Ask for help

Table of Contents

Burnout is often the result of demanding workloads, conflicting priorities, and unfulfilled values — but just as often, it arises from unexpressed needs. Seek help from your family, mentors, colleagues, and leaders. You may find you have more support than you think. Taken from: How to Build a Support System For Your Mental Health | MyWellbeing.

Why is it important to have a support system?

Strained social relationships and reduced social support during the past few years of pandemic living have made coping with stress more difficult. More than half of respondents in the American Psychological Association’s 2022 Stress in America survey said that they could have used more emotional support than they received since the pandemic started.

Loneliness has been associated with a wide variety of health problems including high blood pressure, diminished immunity, cardiovascular disease, and cognitive decline. In fact, low levels of social support have even been linked to increased risk of death from cardiovascular disease, infectious diseases, and cancer.

Support systems are shown to reduce stress, and physical health problems, and improve emotional well-being, life satisfaction, self-esteem, and resiliency.

What makes a strong mental health support system?

Taking stock of your social support system is an excellent way to assess where your help comes from and who provides it. Taking stock can also help you see reasons why you don’t ask for or accept assistance, and reasons why people may not offer assistance.

People in your support system should care for you, show you compassion, love you, be there for you, and be stable. And you should do the same for them—relationships are a two-way street.

Remember that you are the most important member of your support system

While building a support system of other people is vital for our wellbeing, how you support yourself is also important. Practicing self-care, building a strong set of coping mechanisms, and setting boundaries are all ways to support yourself.

How do I build a mental health support system?

If you’ve taken stock of your support system and you’ve decided it can use a little maintenance and growth, here are some things you can try:

Think about what you want from your support system
Consider your expectations from a support system. Do you need a more supportive professional network? Do you need a collection of friends who are there when you need them? Do you need to talk to a healthcare professional about your mental health?
Vary who is in your support system
Friends are important and so is family, but not everyone has a supportive family and those are only two buckets of people. Casting a wider net means that, depending on your needs, there is a higher likelihood of you knowing someone who would have the skills and capacity to support you. The more varied your resources, the better.
Make an effort to nurture your support system
So often, people wait for others to reach out and then feel hurt and rejected when no one does. It’s scary, but letting people know they are in your support system and letting them know how they can support you will set them up for success and make them more likely to be able to support you in the ways that you need.
And be there for others in return; studies have shown that providing social support to others may be even more beneficial than receiving it.

Where are some places where I can find people for my support system?

Again, friends, family, and coworkers are all obvious individuals who could be in our support network, but there are plenty of places to look to build your thriving network.

Strengthen your existing relationships

Are there people you know who you would like to know better? Start reaching out and strengthening these relationships. Even if they aren’t local to you, you can set up virtual connections. Try to make reaching out a habit, such as setting aside a certain hour a week that you’ll use to nurture your network, in order to make it easier to sustain.

Find others who share similar interests

Whether you like rock climbing or relaxing at the park, there are other people who share your interests. Sharing passions is an excellent way to find folks who can support you and who you can support right back. It can be scary to meet new people, but remember: if you’re nervous, so are they.

Things like exercise classes are relatively low barrier-to-entry, local book clubs are a great way to meet like-minded bookworms, neighbors in your building or neighborhood might enjoy the same local shops or activities as you, and volunteering can match you up with people who support the same causes or have the same values as you.

Meet folks online

These days especially, online relationships are just as important as relationships IRL. Expanding your support network to friends that you meet online can vastly widen your pool of potential candidates, plus you can meet people who are going through something similar, which people in our immediate circles might not always understand, such as experiencing an illness or stepping into an identity.

Therapy

Your therapist is not your friend or family member and has an unbiased opinion of what you’re going through, which makes them a great member of your support network. They can give you support, feedback, and a sense of perspective that you might not get from others.

Your support system should be there through the good times and the tough times

We turn to our social supports in times of need, and so they have to be in place before we need them. Now is the time to nurture the relationships you already have and to start making more.

Your support network doesn’t have to be super wide, but the relationships should be deep; these are folks you can count on through the good times and the bad. And they should be able to count on you as well!